


In the Crown of the Circus King

by kritimas



Category: The Greatest Showman - Fandom
Genre: Eventual Smut, How Do I Tag, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Minor Violence, Period-Typical Homophobia, Phillip Carlyle Needs a Hug, Protective P. T. Barnum, Slow Burn, This is my first story on here, barlyle - Freeform, god knows what they will be up to, or Both, phillip is impressed, phineas is a powerful man, please keep in mind that i do not have any of this fully planned, so the archive warnings might vary, this will either get cheesy or dark
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-08
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:13:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 24,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23426782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kritimas/pseuds/kritimas
Summary: Phillip Carlyle was a disappointment to his parents. Phillip Carlyle was, as the locals so lovingly put it, “The Scandal.” And the same Phillip Carlyle half-drunkenly laughed into the face of the alluring man, who proposed him an idea of joining the circus. As if he, Phillip Carlyle, has not had enough of ridiculous offers that brought him to this state in life. Except what he did not know is that the smug man he was talking to is P.T. Barnum - the definition of ridiculousness, or as the corresponding locals titled him "The Circus King.”OrA story of how Phillip Carlyle falls deep into the circus crown of the infatuating ringmaster P.T. Barnum, who in return helps Phillip get back that very much desired spark of light into his daunting life.—
Relationships: P. T. Barnum & Phillip Carlyle, P. T. Barnum/Phillip Carlyle
Comments: 20
Kudos: 87





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a small warning that i haven’t written anything for years! english is not my first language so if you see any typos - let me know! this is my first story on this platform so bear with me and my mistakes, i’m doing all of this for our favorite men x
> 
> also, i haven’t yet decided which characters or relationships will appear in the story and if i’ll follow the original tgs plot, for now i’m just writing what flows out of my mind and i’ll see where that takes me!

Chapter 1

Midnight. All of the lights were slowly extinguishing, leaving only some parts of the New York town functioning. One of those places was a rusty bar called " _The Other Side_ " where a young, well-dressed man was sitting alone near the bar stand, dreamily humming while downing another shot of whiskey. As he felt the burning liquid running down his throat, he barely scrunched his face, clearly showing he has gotten used to having the feeling of alcohol in his system at this point. He hit the shot glass back on the table, nodding for the bartender to continue filling it up.

"Rough day, Mr. Carlyle?" The bartender asked as he vigorously opened up a whiskey bottle, filling up the young mans' glass.

"You can say so, Daniel." He sheepishly answered, impatiently gripping the glass from the bartenders fingers and putting it close to his mouth, swigging it all down his throat again.

"D'y want to talk about it?"

Phillip slowly shook his head while flashing him a small thankful smile. He knew he would not tell anything new to Daniel. Hell, Phillip still did not understand how the bartender has not banned him out from this damned bar. He has heard all of the same sob stories over and over again out of drunk Phillip's lips and at this point, he was sure he had learned all of them by heart.

Phillip looked at the empty glass in his hand, softly twisting it around with his fingers while scanning the bowl of peanuts close to it.

Phillip had not meant to fall like this. He came from the most prestigious family in New York town - _The Carlyles_. Ever since he was a kid, Phillip's father kept telling him how his child was meant to be successful, how he's destined to become the next big thing. They wanted him to become a businessman, just like his grandfather. Phillip was forced to take a lot of extra economy courses, unlike the kids his age. While they were happily enjoying their careless childhood, Phillip was getting drowned in educational books, forced to solve different equations and learning various economical terms. Of course, Phillip was thankful for this privilege. Not a lot of kids could brag about knowing the difference between supply and demand as a 7 year old. At age 12 Phillip could write a 10 page essay about the market structure of the construction industry. He was good with numbers and he was proud of it. At least, he thought he was. ' _He is so much like his grandfather_ ' was the sentence he heard during every family gathering. And whereas most people would take such words as a huge compliment, Phillip never found any contentment in them. On the contrary, he felt like they painfully stabbed him over and over again, slowly revealing a hole in his heart which was never meant to heal again. He was not Phillip Carlyle. He was his grandfather - George Edward Carlyle. And at some point he could have sworn he did not have his own identity other than ' _Geroge's grandson_.'

Daniel took out a cloth and began cleaning the glasses on the bar stand, trying his best not to pay attention to the broken man who was drunkenly leaning on it, visibly drowned in his thoughts and alcohol.

Soon, the small room was filled with the chilly evening air, which got Phillip out of his overthinking session (it has become his nightly routine at this point). The heavy door of the bar creaked open and the sound of vigorous steps filled the room. Phillip did not bother to turn and look at the person who entered the bar. In fact, Phillip felt a feeling of annoyance when the comfortable silence that he was so used to got filled with a cheerful deep baritone voice that he was not familiar with.

"Daniel! Sorry for the late visit! Hopefully, I am not interrupting you. The usual, please!"

Phillip heard the steps coming closer to him and he looked out of the corner of his eye, watching the silhouette on the bar sitting down just one barstool away from him.

The constant shuffling of the person was slowly getting Phillip even more annoyed. He could tell the man was not one of the usual silent bar visitors that came here to drown their feelings in alcohol at night. Daniel gracefully took out the same whiskey bottle that Phillip has been drowning his sorrows in and filled up a new shot glass, passing it past Phillip and over to the man beside him.

"Ah! Fresh taste of good whiskey! Thanks, Daniel!" The man happily announced.

Phillip shifted uncomfortably. He kept getting distracted from his own thoughts and that bothered him. It did not help that the man's strong scent of cologne filled up Phillip's nostrils. Could he tone down a little bit? People come to such dark places to distance themselves from the crappy world. And this person clearly does not understand or have any knowledge of such things.

He felt the man staring at him. Actually, burning his eyes into Phillip's back. At some point Phillip thought he was imagining the stare and it took a lot of strength for him not to shot a glare back to get a look at the mysterious radiating persona. Phillip drowned another shot of his whiskey and nodded for the bartender to fill it up.

"Rough day?" The man giggled, still burning his eyes into Phillip's back.

No. Phillip won't give him any of his attention. He looked back on his now filled up shot glass.

The man shuffled in his chair again and stretched his hand towards the bowl of peanuts. Phillip got a glimpse of his big and seemingly solid fingers fishing up a few of the peanuts. He clandestinely pushed the bowl further away from him with his elbow, not wanting to bring more attention towards himself and especially not wanting the same hand to get as close to him again. This move did not go unnoticed and the person let out another giggle.

"Alright, seems like Mr Carlyle is not in the mood for a fun bar conversation." He said in a teasing tone.

Him knowing Phillip's last name was the last straw. He quickly turned his head and worriedly darted his eyes towards the man, hoping this is not one of his father's 'friends' who would love to spread more gossip about the poor alcoholic son of the Carlyles'.

Phillip was confused to see that it was not the case. In fact, he thought this person seemed familiar but not as one of his father's minions. His now alcohol filled senses tried to dig inside his brain and remember where he had seen this man before.

His blue eyes met the deep and gentle hazel ones. Phillip scanned his facial features, noticing his formally pushed back brown hair, small waves and curls forming at the ends of it. You could tell this man was a few years older than Phillip, but he still had that noticeable childlike sparkle in his eyes, which Phillip has lost a long time ago. He immediately found himself becoming less annoyed at the figure in front of him, softening up his glare as he continued examining him. For some reason it felt like you could not stay angry at this man.

And he was... Nice. Not that Phillip cared. It was just weird to see someone as radiating as him in such a dark and abandoned corner like this bar. You would get a suspicion that he got a bit sidetracked on the way home after some fancy party. The man was wearing a suit that nicely fit around his muscular features, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. It was probably sewn by the same tailor like Phillip's, although the suit this man was wearing was colored in different shades of blue. His turquoise tie hung loosely around his neck. He quite ironically outshined the depressive looking and outworn black suit of Phillip's. Phillip let out a scoff and shook his head in disbelief of the comparison, darting his eyes back to his glass. He felt the other man curiously scanning every move that he made, and he felt the annoyance towards him build up again.

"So tell me, Mr Carlyle. Do you come here often?" He asked, finally taking a delicate sip from his own glass, once again making Phillip feel even more bad about the way he is swinging every glass down his throat without a second thought.

"No." Phillip croaked out, realizing that the man is not planning to let the younger one off any time soon, even if he will try his best ignoring him. Might as well find out what his intentions for this conversation are.

"I see." The man looked at the bartender, who discreetly shook his head in response, giving him the real answer to his question. "Quite a coincidence to find you here, Mr Carlyle. I have heard a lot about you."

Phillip scoffed again, this time furiously scanning the room around him, trying to find his coat. He was getting ready to stand up and leave this godforsaken bar because he knew where this conversation was leading to. The words _'What happened to the poor Carlyle boy_?' echoed in his mind. As Phillip was about to stand up from this barstool, the man in front of him lifted up his arms in defense, motioning for him to sit back down.

"Woah! Do not be afraid of me, Phillip!" He rushingly stated.

Phillip sneered back at him "I am not afraid of you. And do not call me that." He has not heard anyone call him by the name Phillip for months.

The older man got visibly confused by that statement, although he does not seem like a person who would ever be at loss of words. He quickly recollected himself, scanned his eyes over Phillip's frustrated facial features and calmly continued, "Well, before you run away from me Mr Carlyle - I will get straight to the point. I am here to offer you a job. I have heard that you are quite good with what you do."

"With what I do." Phillip mockingly repeated, darting his eyes to Daniel who was clearly enjoying this small bickering between these two men. The bar has not been this alive for weeks. He smirked at Phillip and filled up his glass with the whiskey again.

"Yes." The older man enthusiastically confirmed, a small smile starting to get visible on his face, "Join my circus!"

This had to be a joke. Finally, a laugh escaped Phillip's mouth. A genuine laugh, which he has not heard coming from his lungs for a while. He looked back at the man, trying to understand what kind of hallucinogens he is on. He has to be.

But the man had a serious look on his face, the corners of his mouth lifting up at Phillip's reaction to his offer, making the wrinkles under his eyes more visible. Finally, the younger man realized what was so familiar about this person. He swears he had seen this exact face plastered on posters and newspapers.

Phillip scanned the man with his eyes again, not sure if this could get any more bizarre, "P.T. Barnum?"

"That's me!" The man confirmed, with a gleam of satisfaction visible on his face after getting recognized, "Nice to meet you, Mr Carlyle!". He stretched out his hand towards Phillip.

The younger man accepted his handshake, trying to contain his manners, although he knew the reputation this guy has. And Phillip was still in genuine disbelief that someone like Barnum was in front of him offering a job in his freak circus. Did he get a bit too carried away in his drinks?

"So, what'd ya think?" Barnum strengthened his firm grip on Phillip's hand and quickly detached it after motioning for the bartender to fill up their glasses, "Care to join our team? I would love to see you working those numbers as my junior partner.”

Phillip let out a giggle again, shaking his head in disbelief at the ridiculous offer, "Let's just say that I find it much more comfortable admiring your show from afar."

He has deliberately refused to go to any of their well-known freak shows. He has heard a lot of different rumors surrounding this circus from the fellow upperclassmen. Associating himself with all of that and especially with someone like P.T. Barnum is quite literally forbidden for someone like Phillip. Besides, Phillip has already had enough of offers that have fully ruined his reputation for the next few decades. Barnum is a fool for thinking he will lure Phillip into bowing for his circus crown.

Barnum gave him a challenging glare, smirking at his response. This man clearly did not take a 'no' for an answer and that was getting on Phillip's last nerves.

"Comfort, the enemy of progress." He nodded and finally darted his intense eyes away from the young man. It felt like he was more disappointed by Phillip than Phillip himself.

The younger man felt annoyance filling up his veins again and he decided he was up for the challenge. Who does this man think he is?

"I can't just run off and join the freaksh- circus." Phillip explained to him in a respectful tone, trying get the taller man’s eyes back on him again, although Barnum still held all of his attention to the shot glass in front of him. It was more interesting than Phillip at this point.

Barnum shrugged "Why not? I mean, you clearly have a flair for show business. And you are clearly not using your potential." He nodded towards Phillip’s empty shot glass.

'Show business'? That was a term Phillip can not remember from his countless business lessons.

"The show business?" Phillip asked again, wondering if he misheard it.

"Mm-hmm." Barnum replied, finally finishing his glass of whiskey and shifting his eyes and attention back to Phillip.

"I've never heard of it." The younger man proudly stated, knowing he is in the right this time. All those countless hours of term learning have paid off for once.

But Barnum's answer caught him off guard.

"Because I just invented it." He fired back, mischievously grinning at the now startled younger man. The childish sparkle in his brown eyes appeared again.

Phillip shook his head in disbelief, for what seemed the best response to any of Barnum's thoughts or ideas. This is ridiculous. As much as he tries to respectfully keep this conversation going, Phillip decides to finally put him back to his place.

"Go and do like you do. I'm good to do like me. If I were mixed up with you, I'd be the talk of the town. Disgraced and disowned, another one of the..." Phillip pauses and looks down, realizing the painful similarity behind those words and his current life situation, "...clowns." He shifted his gaze back to Barnum.

Barnum did not seem too offended at the response, "Now, is this really how you like to spend your days? Just whiskey and misery. You would finally live a little, finally laugh a little." As he said the last words, Barnum moved to the barstool that was right beside Phillip. The younger man could feel the pleasant warmth radiating from Barnum's body. He turned his head away, getting intimidated by such unnecessary closeness. If Phillip was one of those usual and prideful upperclassmen, Barnum would already have left this bar with a bruise on his face. He is lucky Phillip is a tolerant man.

"Just let me give you the freedom to dream, Phillip." Barnum softly placed his hand on Phillip's shoulder. He really does not have any limits, does he?

Phillip turned his head to look back at Barnum, who was softly smiling at him, patiently waiting for an answer. Phillip has never felt so important and needed by anyone before. He did not know what Barnum knew about him or his past and why he was so stubborn to have Phillip in his team. Hell, this situation was just ridiculous and all Phillip wanted from today was to get drunk and get to bed. He did not expect a job offer, especially from someone like P.T. Barnum. But the soft touch of his strong hand on Phillip's drunkenly crouched shoulder gave him a feeling, that maybe Barnum knew what kind of hell someone like Phillip has been through. And maybe for once, Phillip can fly out of this bar to the actual other side. After all, P.T. Barnum was the first person in years that referred to him as 'Phillip' and not as 'George's grandson'.

Phillip flashed a small apprehensive smile towards Barnum and in response he got a very excited grin from the taller man, who playfully took another peanut from the bowl as he patted the younger mans shoulder.

"But since you will be forcing me to use my potential, I am asking for 10%."

Barnum's infectious laugh filled the bar "Welcome to the circus, Phillip Carlyle."

The bartender Daniel happily filled up their drinks again, giving a nod of approval towards the gleaming P.T. Barnum and his new very-much-drunk junior partner, who was already starting to regret accepting this offer while being intoxicated. But for some bizarre reason, deep down Phillip truly felt like this is a deal that seems worth taking.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Phillip does not remember much from that night with Barnum. Although he does recollect little details of the older man insisting on getting his new junior partner home in his personal carriage, as a thank you for joining the circus team. Phillip refused to sit in the carriage with him, mostly because he did not want people to see them together. But once again, Barnum proved his stubbornness and dragged the drunk man to the seat in front of him. The whole way to Phillip's home, he had to half listen to Barnum's speech about Phillip's unhealthy obsession with his reputation. The words " _You don't need the whole world to love you. Just a few good people, Phillip. Just them._ " is all that he remembers from Barnum's speech. Phillip was too drunk to care. In fact, he is not about to take life lessons from someone like P.T. Barnum.

—

The next morning Phillip woke up with a terrible headache. He has gotten used to such mornings and they did not bother him as much anymore. After dressing up and getting ready for his usual waste of a day, he began tidying up his small flat, noticing the mess he made here last night.

He bought the flat because it was the cheapest one in the 'upper class' area. The small holes in the corner of his lone window bothered him a lot during cold winters and the floor has undeniably had several previous owners when you notice the state of it. It was not the best upgrade for someone who came from a wealthy and privileged family, but Phillip knew he'd end up on the streets in the near future if he invested in anything better.

Phillip's parents refused to pay for anything after they found out he decided to start his playwright career. He was not surprised at their reaction, knowing how ‘well’ they were dealing with the fact that their son already had the ‘scandal’ title attached to his name. Of course, as Phillip expected, the playwright career did not work out that nicely. His plays were not as successful as he wanted them to be. And sometimes, as he swigs his tenth shot of whiskey, he catches himself regretting not listening to his parents dreams. He would obviously not be happy being their businessman son that they always fantasized about, but at least he would feel like he has made them proud. He would not be seen as a disappointment to the Carlyle family. Currently, no one is proud of Phillip. And he is definitely not proud of himself either.

" _You don't need the whole world to love you._ "

Phillip had a moment of realization. He took out a small piece of paper out of his shirt pocket. Barnum gave it to him last night while they were drunkenly discussing various business plans and Phillip did not bother to read it until now. He looked at the nicely scribbled " _10 a.m., Barnum circus, tomorrow. -P.T._ " A sigh left his mouth and he looked at the clock near his bedside table. He had about 30 more minutes left to get there. Luckily, the circus building is not that far away from Phillip's flat. As he was about to get ready to leave he sat down in his bed and exhaustingly rested his face into his palms, taking a long and deep breath, harshly rubbing his eyes and exhaling. He ran his fingers through his short chestnut hair before standing up again.

" _What are you getting yourself into, Phillip?_ "

—

As he was approaching the well known " _P.T. Barnum's circus_ " building, Phillip could not help but tighten his coat around his body, trying to hide most of his face as he hurriedly walked to the doors, hoping not to meet anyone that would recognize him. He must admit, the promotional posters that Barnum had hung up around the area were quite impressive. Phillip noticed they always had groups of curious eyes staring at them in the streets. The poster titles were written in the characteristic that reminded him a lot of Barnum himself - loud and clear.

As he was walking over to the entrance of the circus, Phillip realized that he could not get inside without any approval. He stepped towards the ticket stand after seeing a man sitting in the box lazily learning over the counter, not paying too much attention towards Phillip.

"Hello, I am Mr Carlyle. Mr Barnum invited me-"

"How many tickets d'ya need kid?" The man asked, clearly not in the mood for any other discussions that are out of his work role.

"I do not need any tickets. I am here to-" Phillip was cut off by the man’s loud laugh.

"Then what the hell are you here for, kid? The barber is on the other side of the road!"

Phillip was not liking the way this man talked to him. He was about to open his mouth when a soft feminine voice cut both of them off.

"O'Malley! Stop scaring away the customers!"

Phillip turned around and saw a petite woman walking closer towards them. Her hair was brightly pink, styled into a nice, almost pompadour type of hairstyle which made him second thought if she was wearing a wig. Her purple coat was tightly wrapped around her shoulders. Her skin color was delicately bronze and she was definitely not from this side of the world. Even with her quirks, Phillip was in shock seeing how amazingly beautiful she is. She was not some ordinary girl you would stumble upon in the street.

The woman caught Phillip's curious stare at her and rolled her eyes, probably getting the wrong idea of his glimpse at her. As he was about to tell her that he loves her hair she quickly spoke over him before he got to say anything.

"You must be Mr Carlyle! Phineas told me about you. Are you already having trouble with O'Malley?" She mockingly asked, noticing the visible confusion in Phillip's eyes.

"He's the only troublemaker here, sweetie!" Phillip heard O'Malley respond from behind his back.

"I-" Phillip was once again cut off.

"Well what are you standing here for? Let's go meet the others!" She softly dragged the baffled Phillip to her side and they walked over to the doors of the building.

She eagerly opened one of them, nodding for Phillip to go inside. As they entered, Phillip's mouth went agape at the sight. His eyes scanned every little corner of the room. He immediately saw a group of people rehearsing in the middle of the ring, dressed up in bright clothing. Then his eyes diverted towards the upper part of the building, where plenty of decorated wooden colons were supporting the roof of the enormous room. A few trapeze bars were hanging down the ceiling. The ring itself was surrounded by tribunes and Phillip got a mental image of the crowd capacity they attract with this show. He could spot four different entrances that were aimed towards the stage circle, one of them being the main entrance which had a heavy red velvet drape covering the area behind it.

"Like what you see?" The girl walked over to his side and softly smiled at him, noticing the excitement in Phillip's now piercing blue eyes.

"This- this is wonderful." Was all that came out of Phillip's mouth, as he took another look around them.

"I guess so. You should see the crowds." The girl shrugged and casually walked towards the circle, waving to the people that were rehearsing.

"Anne! Who is the cutie pie you brought with you?" One of them excitedly asked, flashing a a curious stare at Phillip.

"Anne, we have to rehearse the new trick with the trapezes!" Another one remarked, not bothering to give Phillip any of his attention.

"Anne! Phineas was looking for you."

They continued bickering, making Phillip feel a bit out of place. He did not feel comfortable to approach the group yet.

The pink hair girl, who Phillip assumes is the one with the name Anne, turned her head towards him and motioned for him to come over to the group. He awkwardly walked over to them, trying to dodge all the sudden attention and eye contact he endured from all the different people.

"This," Anne impatiently grabbed Phillip's elbow and dragged him to her side, making Phillip feel like a child with his mother during his first day at school, "Is Mr Carlyle. Phineas' new-" She stopped talking and looked questionably at Phillip, "Wait, what is your act?"

Phillip noticed everyone's ears perk up at the question.

"I-" He cleared his throat before continuing, mentally cursing his awkwardness towards the group, "I do not have an act." He simply said, getting a few snickering sounds back.

Anne giggled, "Everybody's got an act!" She stated like it was the most obvious thing.

"Well-" Phillip wanted to explain himself but was quickly cut off (what felt like the hundredth time today!) by a deep voice echoing through the building.

"What is happening here? We will do gossip sessions later! Get back to work! The ringmaster does not look good without his acts, you all should be perfectly aware of that by now!"

A familiar face appeared from behind the drape, strolling towards the group in a confident manner. Phillip was grateful to finally see someone he knew and it immediately filled him with a feeling of safety.

Barnum was wearing a velvety red ringmaster's suit, the corners of it decorated with golden patterns mixed with black finishes. As he was approaching the group, his attention was shifted on fixing one of the buttons on his white collar shirt that was sticking behind the red and golden facade. Not noticing the groups interest in Phillip or even Phillip himself, Barnum walked towards a bearded lady and crouched, making her eye level reach his neck.

"Lettie, for godness sake, please help me with this button before I go crazy." He politely asked, hearing a laugh from Lettie in return as she helped him button up the shirt. Barnum questionably looked around the group, still not aware of Phillip's presence.

"What is the matter now? Did W.D. get into a fight with O'Malley again?" He asked, getting impatient with the group as they watched him and Lettie, "W.D., how many times do I have to tell you, do not-"

"I did not do anything!" Answered the tall man in front of Phillip, visibly offended by Barnum's sudden attack, "I was just talking to Anne!"

The ringmaster let out a loud sigh, "Anne, where on Earth were you, I was looking for-"

Barnum stopped talking and all the annoyance vanished from his warm golden eyes as soon as Anne proudly dragged Phillip out from behind W.D.'s back, answering all his questions.

Phillip, visibly flustered, gave a polite nod towards Barnum, who in response (without any warning!) walked towards Phillip and gave him a tight hug, patting his back as he softly pulled him into the middle of the group circle, shifting everyone's attention back to Phillip. He could smell the strong familiar cologne again. The young man just stood there still startled by the sudden embrace that only lasted for a few seconds. Not that he was complaining, it was just unusual for Phillip to get any kind of hug from someone. In fact, he barely remembers the last time he got one.

"This, my friends, is the new member of our family. Say hello to my new junior partner - Phillip Carlyle!" Barnum proudly announced, the echo of his baritone voice filling the room as he was patting Phillip’s shoulder.

The announcement got followed by a few excited claps and one 'Hi handsome!' remark. Phillip just stood there and blushed, not used to the attention he was getting.

"Now, now ladies and gents, he might be pretty to look at but he will also help me a lot with our paperwork. This man knows how to make sales and accept orders, I can tell you that." Barnum grinned, his smile never leaving his face as everyone curiously looked at the duo.

So he did do some kind of background check - thought Phillip, suddenly feeling a bit more confident in himself now that he finally got introduced to the circus members. Barnum's firm hand on Phillip's shoulder was relieving the tension the younger one did not notice having built up during his first minutes in this building.

"Are you going to stay for tonight's show?" Asked the short guy who was dressed in a general uniform. Even for his size, for some reason, you would still not dare to pick a fight him - thought Phillip.

"If you let me." Phillip answered, getting out of his thoughts and flashing them all a shy smile. He got a few affirmative answers and a few nods.

Barnum chuckled, removing his hand from Phillips shoulder as he began walking towards the center of the ring. "Phillip has never seen any of our shows, so we better make a good impression and start rehearsing! I do not want to make my new junior partner quit on his first day of work!" Barnum announced, giving a friendly wink towards Phillip's direction, as the group finally began scattering.

"Everyone, get to work! Let's impress Mr Carlyle!" Anne shouted as she did a few encouraging claps while walking towards the side of the ring.

"You can call me Phillip." He said softly, his voice drowning in all of the other voices that echoed in the room.

Phillip decided that this group was a complete... mishmash. Everyone were talking over each other, getting into random arguments, shouting different names from each side of the ring. Phillip's eyes curiously watched Barnum strolling towards every one of them, giving a few encouraging words and tips as he happily acted out a few dance moves when he was asked to. Phillip realized the importance of his ringmaster role. This chaos of a group will never get lost as long as they have his parental aura here - he thought.

As he was watching Barnum, Anne graciously began performing her trapeze tricks in the air, which immediately caught Phillip's attention. She made her movements look so easy to perform, as her petite but athletic body flew towards the different trapezes, her arms solidly hanging on to each bar as she performed various dance moves in the air. She wrapped her legs around the metal bar and let her face bow down while discussing something with W.D., who was standing below her. Anne caught Phillip's stare and smiled at him. Phillip quickly gave her a nod back, still in awe of her fearlessness.

Lettie walked over to Phillip, following his stare towards Anne. "I see the pretty boy has already gotten his eyes on our favorite circus rose? She is a feisty one, you will have to fight for her." She warned him, trying to keep herself from laughing.

Phillip shook his head and chuckled, "Oh, no! I am not getting my eyes on anyone. Although I have to admit, you do have a lot of talents here." Phillip decided to shift the awkward conversation, "And what is your role here?" His eyes met hers, the man was trying his best not to stare at her beard, he did not want to seem rude.

"Well besides taking care of my wonderfully trimmed beard-" She snickered, getting a smile from Phillip - he loved her confidence, “I also sing. I consider myself the lead singer. Do not mention that to Phineas, though. He is so full of himself, trying to make everyone think he is the main vocalist in this group. Well, nu-uh! Not on my watch! As long Lettie Lutz has her vocal chords sorted, Phineas will never hit all the notes as good as the queen L."

"Did I hear my name?" Phillip indistinctly jumped at the voice that unexpectedly appeared behind their backs.

Lettie playfully fist bumped Phillip's shoulder, "Remember what I said, pretty boy." She gave Barnum a victorious smirk before walking away from the duo.

Phillip turned his head back to Barnum, who was now in front of Phillip, burying his hazel eyes back into the now familiar blue ones. He stood a bit too close for Phillip’s liking.

"How typical of Lettie to turn my own workers against me. And it has not even been a hour since you got here.” Barnum shook his head, a humorous tone noticeable in his words. “So, are you ready for tonight's show?" He asked, shifting his gaze and body towards the center of the ring and the people rehearsing in it. Phillip silently let out a breath he did not notice holding in.

"I hope so. Do you have any tasks for me that I will have to follow?" Phillip politely inquired, not fully understanding what his role in this team is yet.

"Oh no, you just stand and watch... Me. Or any other person of your choice. People always prefer the ringmaster, though."

His bold choice of words and overconfidence did not surprise Phillip anymore. Barnum's infectious grin creased the corners of his golden brown eyes.

"Actually," The ringmaster continued, "I would love to show you your new office and help you sign a few contracts. Shall we?" He charmingly stretched his hand towards the area behind the red drape, welcoming Phillip to walk with him.

Phillip nodded and happily followed him, trying to match Barnum's sanguine walk. He was slowly but surely getting excited to watch the show tonight.

-

"This is the office. A bit cramped, really, but I can confirm it does it's job well. Especially when the circus group gets into heated arguments and all you want to do is run away from them." Barnum knocked on the wooden walls, "Thick and soundproof." He confirmed, double checking his statement, "You will be spending a lot of your time here, so you better start getting used to the depressing view from our window and the constant chaos on my desk" He giggled, nodding towards it.

Phillip smiled as his eyes scanned the room. It definitely was not a first class office, but it had that feeling of Barnum's coziness in it and it seemed like a great working environment. Two desks were positioned on each side of the room and a bookshelf faced them at the back, filled with different types of files and pictures of the circus family. He curiously walked over to the small window, leaving Barnum standing beside the office door. You could not see anything from it, other than a brick wall blocking out all the view.

"I guess the architects did not think through the building plans quite well." Barnum grinned, as he walked to his table, moving past Phillip.

"I'll get used to it." Phillip nodded, as he turned around to check out his new working space, dropping his coat on the wooden chair.

"Tomorrow I want to take you to the tailor's. My new junior partner needs his own circus uniform." He announced, the childlike excitement never leaving his voice as he fiddled through is drawers looking for something.

"A suit? I don't think I need that, I am not a performer-"

"Oh you will be." Barnum smirked, staring back at Phillip as he took out a piece of paper, "Also, no offense, but I don't think your current suit is at it's best state. We will get you a new one. My treat."

"Barnum, you really don't have to. I can get one myself-" Phillip staggered, not wanting for anyone, especially the ringmaster himself to spend any of his money on him.

"Oh, shush. I am not in the mood to argue with you now. C'mere and sign this contract paper before I change my mind." He motioned for Phillip to walk over to the desk, "We have a show tonight and I still have to give you a tour around the building. Time is money, my dear Phillip!" Barnum softly laughed while watching the younger man shake his head as he leaned over to sign the file.

"No offense, boss, but you are already getting on my nerves.” 

Barnum cheekily nodded, "P.T. Barnum, at your service."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

" _Ladies and gents, this is the moment you've waited for._ "

This is the first sentence that invited Phillip to the magical show of P.T. Barnum's Circus. And god, how he secretly wished that the ' _Mr Carlyle_ ' side of him would have been proved wrong about all the wizardry behind it. He hoped for the circus acts to make a fool out of themselves, giving more reasons for him to admit his mistake of joining this group of so called freaks. He would have a valid reason to jump out of this sinking ship as soon as possible. Maybe even run back home to his parents and apologize for even thinking of associating himself with these individuals.

But the ' _Phillip_ ' side of him was entirely fascinated and absorbed into it all from the very moment Barnum jogged towards the center of the ring singing his heart out. The building pulsated to the rhythm of his gravelly voice. He pointed at the audience with his cane as he tipped his top hat, welcoming them to join _The Greatest show_.

The other circus acts shortly appeared after Barnum's entrance, joining him and matching his dance moves as their voices perfectly assimilated to his deep baritone one. The bright costumes were standing out in their own different ways, just like the acts wearing them. But nothing compared to the bright red velvet suit of the true Circus King.

The words ' _People always prefer the ringmaster_ ' lingered in Phillip's mind and he could not help but smile whilst he was getting completely ingested into Barnum's gallant movements.

As Barnum moved closer to the sides of the ring, his hazel brown eyes met Phillip's blue ones. The junior apprentice, as ordered before the show, guarded one of the wooden tribunes, curiously watching every move of the ringmaster. Barnum immediately gave Phillip his classic dazzling grin as he proudly sang out the words: " _This is where you wanna be._ "

Phillip momentarily realized they were aimed at him. He gave Barnum a visible nod, flashing him back an amused smile. Right at this moment, this is truly the place where Phillip wants to be.

—

The sound of the thunderous applause at the end of the show lingered in Phillip's eardrums for the rest of the evening. The show itself was long finished by now and most of the circus acts were on their way home. As Phillip helped them tidy up the now abandoned ring, he still found himself being in some kind of euphoric shock state. He did not know what he was going in for before the show, but this over exceeded all of his expectations and he found himself already getting excited for the future performances.

He lifted up the wooden boxes that were used as stairs for Tom Thumb and his horse. While he walked towards the storage area behind the tribunes, Phillip silently hummed some of the songs that were sung during the show.

After putting the boxes back to their place, he looked around the ring once again before nodding to himself and going back to his office to get his coat. Not _his_ office - _His and Barnum's_ office. That is one detail he left out before he gave Phillip the small tour around the building. But Phillip did not mind - he loved the idea to have someone keep him company while he was doing the paperwork. And who knows a better dialogue starter than P.T. Barnum himself?

Phillip has to admit, him giving the younger man a tour around the circus was one of the most exciting parts of the day.

As Phillip opened up the wooden door to their office, he was greeted with the circus king himself sitting at his desk, focused on reading a newspaper article while the bright kerosene lamp by his side was lightening up the room.

His ringmaster's suit was nicely hung up on the wall behind him together with his top hat. He was left wearing a white collar shirt.

"I guess I will be heading out." Phillip awkwardly announced, as he walked over to his own desk. He did not wait for Barnum's answer and quickly grabbed his coat from the wooden chair, not wanting to distract the visibly tired circus man from his intimate moment.

Surprisingly, Barnum immediately shifted his attention to Phillip and took off his reading glasses, lazily nodding and smiling at the young man while he was buttoning up his coat.

"Will you be going home?" Barnum inquired, almost like awaiting a confirmation from Phillip.

The younger one now shakily wrapped his red scarf around his neck, avoiding any kind of eye contact with the other side of the room.

"What? Oh yes, I will be heading home. It is not far away from here." He answered, in an obvious rush to get out of this office before he gets asked more questions. He sensed Barnum's parental aura appearing and he did not like it being directed towards him. 

"I know," Barnum dragged on, still suspiciously staring at the undoubtedly hesitant Phillip who was hurriedly trying to find his contract papers on his table.

As he finally grabbed the file, the ringmaster did not let him get off that easily.

"...And so is the bar called 'The Other Side'." He continued.

Phillip let out a loud sigh, realizing the older mans intentions for this discussion. He stopped his movements, finally letting his eyes meet Barnum's stare.

"I do not need a babysitter." He stated.

" _Obviously_."

"And I really appreciate that you gave me this job. Truly. After today's show, I have made the decision to work for you. The circus- I mean, the whole team."

Barnum could not help but smirk at the correction.

"But my personal life and choices," Phillip continued as he motioned towards the door, "Stay _out_ of the circus. It is none of your business, Barnum."

"I think if my junior partner decides to become a part time alcoholic, it is kind of my business, don't ya think?" Barnum grinned.

" _Oh, piss off._ " Phillip hissed, "You don't know me."

"I don't, you are undeniably right about that. But I am still allowed to be concerned about you, am I not, Phillip?" The humor faded away from his voice for the first time today. He finally stood up from his chair and leaned his hands to the front of his desk, not breaking the now intense eye contact, "I just want you to know that behind all that ringmaster facade hides a man that went through a lot before he got here. And now when I look into your eyes, I see the same shadows I've once encountered. Phillip, I can be a good listener. And if you need any help or a supportive-"

Phillip shook his head and turned to walk towards the door.

"Phillip."

He stopped as his hand was resting on the door handle, giving one last look at the concerned man in front of him. He felt uneasy not seeing the usual wide grin or cheeky smile on Barnum's face. And Phillip _hated_ being the reason for it.

"Drowning yourself and your feelings in alcohol will never help you escape the lingering questions and doubts in your head. Trust me, I tried to escape it all the same way."

"I do not need your life lessons, Barnum. Goodnight. I will see you tomorrow." Phillip croaked out, as he finally walked out of the office, harshly closing the door behind him.

He hurriedly blinked away the tears he felt building up in his eyes as he stormed through the now empty circus ring, a cloud of dust forming after his heavy steps.

He could not help but already feel the familiar itch inside him begging to be covered up with a shot of whiskey.

Phillip walked through the now dark and empty streets of New York town. Streetlights were illuminating his face and he was trying his best to hide it behind the shadows, with the help of the hems on his coat.

He was ashamed of himself. He was ashamed for being so weak. He wished he had some parts of the courage all those circus acts showed in tonight's show. Phillip had never seen so much genuine positivity in one place, and it drove him mad knowing the real world will never manage to bring him that kind of happiness.

His act in the real world is a lot different than his circus one.

He approached the now very familiar bar at the end of the street. Phillip stopped in his tracks and let out a deep sigh, replaying his conversation with Barnum.

 _And this day was going so well -_ he thought, as he discouragingly walked towards the entrance of the bar, getting his head ready to have it's own little usual overthinking show tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know this is not a lot but this is how far i’ve gotten into writing this story. if you enjoyed these few kind of “introduction” chapters, please let me know! i’m definitely in the mood to continue it as soon as i gather more ideas!


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

During Phillip's second day in the circus, he found himself having a lot of interesting conversations with the circus acts themselves.

Even though they would not stop teasing him and calling him' _Mr Swanky_ ' or ' _Mr Handsome_ ', he still felt warmly welcome in this group. They were the first people that did not care or seem too interested in his personal background. They did not question him or force him to tell his whole life story, or why he - a definite upperclassman, decided to come and join their group of oddities. He was certain they knew nothing about the rumors surrounding him and for once, Phillip did not feel judged by anyone.

He was slowly starting to understand their inside jokes and their relationships with each other. They even decided to share the story of how Barnum hired O'Malley.

"The guy was about to steal PT's golden watch and Barnum went ' _I see what you are doing and I like your determination. Let me offer you a nice bargain - join my circus and I won't be mentioning any of this to your beloved authorities._ '"

His favorite thing about the group is that they never took Barnum too seriously, even though they still wholeheartedly respected him and his passion towards the circus. They could not stop mocking the ringmaster as soon as his paternal presence was gone, even managing to do a few theatrical impressions of him that made Phillip crack up a genuine laugh.

Today was just one of those days where they could not hold it all in even in front of Barnum himself and Phillip found a lot of entertainment watching all of the circus acts trying to contain their emotions.

When the circus king joined their rehearsal session, they did not stop their snickering and kept humorously rolling their eyes as Barnum said his classic well-known aphorisms.

It did not take long for the ringmaster to realize what was happening and his inner fortitude did not find much enjoyment in being the mockery target of the day. As his speech got cut off by another giggle, he finally lost all of his dignified patience:

" _Alright_ , Lettie. What is it? What's so funny? Did I say something?"

"No." Lettie replied, trying to keep in her laugh, nudging W.D. as the chuckling man had to cover his eyes with one of his hands, trying to avoid looking at Barnum's confused facial features which made the exchange even funnier for them.

"Have you folks gone _completely_ imbecilic throughout the night?" Barnum raised his voice, lifting his hands up in defeat, turning away from the group and stomping towards the center of the ring.

This remark was followed by a booming laugh from all of the acts, even Phillip himself, who was lazily sitting in one of the wooden tribunes with a notebook in his hands, patiently doing some sales calculations.

Barnum turned around on his heel and shifted his gaze towards the group, disappointingly shaking his head at their jubilant faces like they were a group of overgrown children. His eyes diverted towards the grinning Phillip, a hint of amusement starting to get noticeable even in the ringmaster's own eyes.

He cleared his throat, trying to get everyone's attention back on him again, "Unquestionably, you people are not in the mood to take me seriously today. So I will withdraw for a few hours, if you don't mind. But please, do make sure you follow the usual rehearsal routine."

"God bless." Lettie joyfully said, wiping away the tears from the corners of her eyes as she was crouching on the floor together with Anne.

"Phillip!" Barnum pointed his index finger up, catching Phillip's immediate attention. The ringmaster motioned for his junior partner to get down from the tribunes before lowering his hand, as he started walking towards their office, indicating for Phillip to follow him.

The young man quickly collected some of the papers from his seat and swiftly got down from the tribunes, nodding towards the circus acts as he followed the ringmaster.

"Just shout ' _help_ ' if he starts choking you."

Phillip grinned and shook his head in disbelief at Tom's comment.

As he entered their office, he found Barnum near the desk, buttoning up his coat as he met Phillip's stare.

"Let's go do a bit of shopping!" He happily announced.

"Barnum-"

"Either that or I am leaving this pile of paperwork for you to finish on your own." He nodded towards the tower of paper on his desk, "Your choice. Don't know about you, Phillip, but I would rather prefer getting a new nice suit." He smirked, brushing some dust off the sleeves of his coat.

Phillip sighed and placed his notebook on his table as he walked inside the room, flashing a threatening glare at Barnum for using this kind of exploitation.

"I _knew_ you would agree." Barnum giggled as he walked past Phillip and encouragingly patted his shoulder, happily strolling out of the office.

—

Phillip was grateful that their heated argument which he and Barnum had last night did not affect their already fragile connection. After suffering a nerve wracking morning of decisions between avoiding the ringmaster all day or not even showing up at the circus, Phillip was pleased to know that Barnum had no intentions to remind him about the argument again. At least, not today.

As he and Barnum walked through the lively streets of the city, Phillip noticeably tried to keep his eyes somewhere on the ground, avoiding any gazes from other people. Such action did not go unnoticed by the ringmaster, but he decided to not comment on it.

"The tailor's not too far away." He said, trying to give some sort of reassurance to Phillip, who was slouchily walking by his side.

"Yeah." Phillip quickly nodded.

"Do you have any specific style requirements for your suit?" Barnum tried to continue the conversation.

"Not really. As long as it is comfortable, s'fine."

"Then I know the perfect one for you." Barnum assured, flashing a comforting smile to Phillip.

The younger man started feeling less tense as Barnum kept distracting him with a few engaging conversations about the weather and the architecture of all the different buildings they walked past, and by the time they arrived at the tailor's shop, Phillip was loudly laughing at ringmaster's story of him burning his breakfast today.

"I promise - I am a great cook when I do not get distracted by the newspaper." Barnum grinned as he opened the door to the small shop, nodding for Phillip to go inside first.

"I find it really difficult to believe. I think you'll have to prove that to me, Barnum." Phillip giggled as he walked past, feeling the warm air of the room hitting his cold skin.

"Eventually..." The ringmaster said as he closed the door behind them, shifting his attention away from Phillip and curiously looking around the shop that had all kinds of dressed up mannequins around it.

" _P.T. Barnum_!" A voice called out of the other side of the room, "What brings you here? Need any more peculiar costumes?" A beaming old man walked towards them, holding a few materials in his hand.

Barnum politely tipped his hat towards the man as they went in for a handshake, "No, not anything too peculiar this time. I need you to get me a nice suit for my new junior partner over here." He shifted his attention back to Phillip.

The older man squinted through his glasses as his stare met Phillip's. A quick realization flashed over his old face, which already made the younger man squirm under his and the ringmaster's eyes.

"Is that George's grandson? _It is_! Fancy seeing you here! How is your father holding up?" He quickly took Phillip's hand and shook it, clearly not getting the same energy back from the younger one, who was already feeling like he was continuously being hit by a ton of bricks after each sentence.

In Phillip's surprise, Barnum immediately stepped towards the duo, diverting the attention back to him.

"Yes, that _is_ Phillip, my dear Alfred. And I would appreciate if we skipped the unnecessary conversations for the time being. We are both in a rush, since we have a show to attend in a few hours. Are you able to do the measurements now?"

Alfred and Phillip, both visibly startled by Barnum's sudden approach finally broke their handshake. The tailor did not take too long to collect himself, unlike the younger man.

"Of course, of course. Please go stand on that box over there, young man, I will join you both in a minute." The man hurriedly fixed his glasses as he turned away from the two men and walked towards one of the workspaces at the end of the room.

Barnum softly patted Phillip's shoulder, pointing at the box behind them.

"All good?" He inquired, trying to get his baffled apprentice out of his thoughts as he concernedly stared at his vivid blue eyes.

Phillip met his gaze and nodded, gratefulness evident in the small smile he gave to the ringmaster. He stepped on to the wooden box when he heard the tailor walking back towards them with different kind of measurement equipments in his hands.

"What style were you thinking of getting? I should get it done by the end of the week."

Before Phillip could open his mouth, Barnum stepped in once again.

"Let's do it in the style of my costume. Don't make it too noticeable, though. We don't want the audience to lose their interest in the ringmaster." Barnum grinned, already trying to lighten up the uncomfortable atmosphere in the room. He gave a reassuring nod towards Phillip, noticing the younger one's cheeks getting visibly pink as the tailor was starting to align his measuring tape on Phillip's shoulders.

–

" _Thank you._ " Phillip earnestly said, as they finally left the suffocating atmosphere of the tailor's shop after a hour of an awkward measuring session.

"For what?" Barnum confusingly asked, shoving the receipt into his coat pocket, distractingly looking around the area,"Anyways, time to go back. Hopefully the group did not burn the circus down yet. Do you have any idea what got into their pants today, by the way? Acting like _complete_ children." He looked back at Phillip and flashed him a smile as he began walking away from the shop entrance.

Phillip quickly caught up with his walk, a smirk visible on his face. He cheerfully lifted his head up and looked at Barnum.

"So about the breakfast..."

Barnum let out a loud sincere laugh, which caught a lot of people's attention. But this time, Phillip did not care about the eyes staring at them. He could have all of New York's eyes on him and he would still feel protected, as long as Barnum walked by his side.

The ringmaster and his junior partner happily strolled towards their circus, getting undoubtedly excited for tonight's show.

–

"Hey, Mr Swanky, did you enjoy the show?" Anne walked towards Phillip, who was peacefully sitting on one of the now empty tribunes, counting today's tickets sales.

Phillip quickly shifted his gaze on her as he felt her plop down beside him.

"Loved it. You were incredible." Phillip complimented as he looked back at his notes and scribbled down some numbers in his notebook, "Sorry, just give me a few seconds. Barnum asked me to deliver this before I leave."

"Don't worry. I can go." Anne was about to stand up, not wanting to distract the working man.

"No, no, it's okay. Please, stay. It helps to have company." Phillip quickly assured her.

"Okay." She admiringly smiled at him, "I can see why Phineas hired you. You truly do your work with so much devotion. Just like him, which obviously makes you a great duo."

Phillip felt a smile linger on his lips, as he crossed out a few of the numbers with his pencil.

"I think it is easy to absorb all that passionate energy from the acts themselves." He looked back up at her.

Anne softly giggled as she looked away, focusing her stare at the circus ring in front of them.

"Most of us would be nowhere if PT did not decide to take us under his wing. It's impossible to hold in all the positive emotions this building makes us feel. It's our only safe place. It's home. For some of us it's our only family that accepts us for who we are."

Phillip uncomfortably shifted a the last statement, but nodded as he finally closed his notebook, placing the pencil behind his ear.

"I am glad you found your home." He stated as he looked at her.

Anne shifted her gaze back at him, her eyes scanning his face.

"What about you? Forgive me if this sounds rude, but you're obviously not like the rest of us. You seem to be-"

"More privileged?" Phillip cut her off.

"I did not mean that. I'm sorry-" She worriedly corrected herself.

"No, I understand why you would think of me that way." Phillip reassured her, flashing a soft smile, "And I am undeniably more fortuitous in some ways, unlike you. But it will never be something I'll boast about, because it is all not as great as it seems. Honestly, I wish I had the strength and bravery you people show in these shows. People like me are cowards, we hide behind this idiotic exclusive facade acting like everything's perfect and..." He stopped, shaking his head and slowly standing up, "I'm sorry, I got carried away. I need to go and give Barnum these numbers-"

Anne quickly pushed him back to the seat, "No, no, Phillip. Please never feel like a bother for saying your thoughts out loud." She softly squeezed Phillip's arm, "And I never looked at you as a coward. You might carry a lot of weight on your shoulders that you don't want anyone to know about, but that does _not_ make you a coward."

Phillip let out a sigh and looked away. Anne lightly pressed his arm again, "Just remember what I said - this building is a safe place. For all of us. And for you too. We all have wounds that we are so desperate to heal."

They silently sat there for a few minutes, until Phillip decided to finally go and deliver his calculations to Barnum.

Before he walked away from Anne, he turned towards the girl once again.

"Thank you."

"Always! See you tomorrow!" She gave him a delighted look, that cheered up Phillip's heart.

–

"Here's the sales numbers from today. I think you did quite well! I even calculated out the estimated earnings for the next few weeks. It looks promising." Phillip took out the piece of paper out of his notes, handing it over to Barnum as he stood in front of his desk.

"' _We_ ' did, Phillip. There's no ' _me_ ' in this. And I'll have a look." Barnum corrected, as he flashed the younger man a grin, "Thank you!"

Phillip nodded and gave him a smile back, acknowledging his mistake. He walked over to his own desk, collecting his belongings and picking up his coat from the chair.

"Oh, and, Phillip?" Barnum inquired.

"Hm?" Phillip turned towards the ringmaster, as he was slowly buttoning up his coat.

"Could you walk over here for a second, please." He mischievously smirked.

Phillip furrowed his brows, confusion visible on his face.

"Come on." Barnum cheerfully motioned with his hand.

Phillip cautiously walked over to Barnum, his body tensing up at the unusual request.

"Lean over for a bit."

Phillip shook his head, the bizarreness of the offer completely taking him off guard, making his cheeks heat up, " _What_?"

" _Oh for godness sake_." The ringmaster grinned, as he quickly lifted himself up from his seat and skillfully grabbed the pencil from behind Phillip's ear, his calloused fingers softly brushing past the younger man's temple, " _This_ ," He waved the pencil in front of their eyes, "Is mine. Thank you." Barnum theatrically nodded, the beaming smile never leaving his face.

Phillip astoundingly stood there, slowly processing the past few seconds. He cleared his throat and turned to walk towards his desk, the captivity of Barnum's presence never leaving his senses.

"See you tomorrow, Phillip!" Barnum excitedly added, before the ( _now very silent_ ) junior partner opened up the office door.

"See ya."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> really enjoyed writing this one! hope you liked reading it just as much! :)


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

The next few weeks in the circus were full of new experiences, and Phillip's days were always followed with huge amounts of joy running all over his body. Not that it was anything too exceptional, it was a circus after all.

By the end of the first week Phillip finally got his suit delivered from the tailor's. He was in shock on how beautifully it turned out and it was undoubtedly very alike Barnum's suit. The golden embroidered strips embellished the front of it, connecting it's golden buttons. His small neck was nicely framed by the decorated black shirt collars. The main difference between both of the suits were the colors - Phillip's kept more of the warm red tones in it, unlike Barnum's which had more of the dominating black finishes. And even though the ringmaster made a cheeky requirement to make it less striking, Phillip did not see it being any less exquisite. When he checked out his outfit in the mirror, he felt a hint of that particular Barnum confidence washing over him as he smirked at his reflection, posing like the ringmaster himself.

"Oh come on, Phillip! Are we going to wait behind this curtain all day? Show yourself!" Lettie impatiently called.

"In a second." Phillip answered, taking one last look at his appearance and finally getting out of the changing area, meeting the girls' excited eyes.

"Oh. My. Sweet. Lord." Lettie shouted out as she excitedly clapped her hands, scanning Phillip from head to toes with her eyes.

"What she said." Anne and Deng Yan nodded. They all walked closer towards him, inspecting each little detail on his suit.

"Man, Phineas' going to be mad. You're outshining him, mister." Lettie laughed. She carefully brushed her fingers under the golden lines.

"Really? I think he specifically asked the tailor to not make it too flashy." Phillip looked down, finishing buttoning up one of the golden buttons.

"I can already hear him demanding a refund." Deng Yan grinned as she rested her hand on Anne's small shoulder, both admiring Phillip's new circus look.

"Well, thanks for the heads up." Phillip sarcastically replied, looking back up at them and flashing them a smile.

"Do that _main_ 'P.T. Barnum' pose."

"No... I couldn't..." Phillip hesitantly shook his head, trying to stop himself from giggling.

"Oh, come on!" Lettie urged, giving him a friendly encouraging nudge. The other two girls endorsed her request.

Phillip chuckled and stepped back. He took one last look at the ladies, winking at them as he instantly crossed his legs, turning his face to the right and stretching out one of his arms, pretending to be holding a cane in it. He kept his left arm behind his back. " _Ladies and gents this is the moment you've waited for_." He sang with a deepened voice, jumping in his place and skillfully pressing his legs together as he faced the ladies again, stretching his hands up in the air. All of the three women laughed, following Phillip's little performance with loud claps and cheers as he theatrically bowed down for them.

"Impressive." The familiar baritone voice commented behind their backs, quickly catching the attention of the small group. They all turned around to face the ringmaster, who naturally showed up without giving out any warnings of his presence. Phillip's face immediately heated up after realizing Barnum watched the whole performance, but he quickly fixed his composure, gallantly meeting the lustrous brown eyes, seeing the owner of them leaning on one of the wooden colons.

"Indeed," Barnum continued as he walked over to the ladies, acting like he was deep in his thoughts, his eyes dauntingly scanning the visibly flustered Phillip, "I must admit, I do _not_ appreciate Alfred dishonoring my request." He finally cracked a smile, "But I am glad my fellow junior partner does not quite match my _fabulous_ ringmaster moves just yet."

"Feeling threatened, Barnum?" Phillip finally found the courage to fire back.

"Oh, don't worry boys." Lettie stepped in front of them, "The circus has enough space for two ringmasters, I'm sure." She winked at Phillip, leaning in for a loud whisper, "But I _think_ I already have a favorite."

All of the women laughed and the two men flashed a few smirks towards each other as their glare contest continued.

" _Two_ ringmasters you say?" Barnum carried on, scanning Phillip's outfit again, "I will have to ask the boss man about such idea."

"If you please." Phillip bowed at the taller man.

"Don't push it, Phillip." Anne warned, a giggle escaping her lips.

Barnum finally flashed his well-known grin, getting out of his intimidating role. He walked around Phillip and checked out the suit, "Incredible. Is it comfortable?"

Phillip nodded, "Oh yes, I love it. The material feels amazing on the skin. Give Alfred my thanks."

"I will certainly send him all of our gratitude. This is a masterpiece." Barnum finally stood in front of him, examining the golden patterns as his fingertips brushed past them.

"Alright, Phillip, I think you should just take it off and give it to Phineas at this point." Deng Yan remarked. Barnum kept curiously observing his younger apprentice even after he took a step back.

"Well, in case you get bored of it, I'm _always_ up for sharing." The ringmaster humorously winked as he finally turned to walk away from the snickering group, "Anne, I'm gonna need you to show me the new trick you came up with W.D." He called.

"Coming!" She answered, quickly looking back at the group, "So sorry to leave you guys, I will meet you before the show." She turned to Phillip, “And you _truly_ do look amazing, Phillip. If I was you, I would start considering performing on the ring. I promise it is way more fun than hiding behind the tribunes." She smiled as she began walking away, "Just a thought."

"I wholeheartedly agree." Lettie waved to Anne when the smaller girl walked away.

"I am not a performer, Lettie." Phillip reminded her.

"We weren't performers either, dear." Deng Yan pointed out, "And what would you call the little performance you just did for us before Phineas walked in and ruined the moment?"

Phillip scoffed, "That was nothing."

"Well, it's definitely a start."

—

And even though Phillip's small humorous disputes with the ringmaster and the acts were his favorite parts of their daily routine, nothing would ever come as close to when the show itself began. The cheers and the claps of the audience rang in Phillip's ears after each performance, an euphoric state filling him up for at least the next few hours. Sometimes, as he guarded one of the tribunes, he would steal a few special winks from Barnum, who always checked up on his junior apprentice in the middle of their songs. They even made up their own sign language that Phillip used to warn the ringmaster when he heard Barnum singing off-key or whenever he needed to signal for the man to fix his top hat that was placed a bit too sideways on his head. After the shows ended and all of the circus acts went home, throughout most nights Phillip kept himself busy in his and Barnum's office, calculating their daily sales and noting down new ideas on how to make even bigger earnings. And although Barnum did not have a lot of things to do during those evenings, he always patiently stayed up with Phillip - keeping him company until the young man finished his work for the night.

"Have you signed the papers we got delivered today? I will put them in a separate file." Phillip inquired as he stood up from his desk, looking back at Barnum.

"Yes, here they are." The ringmaster vigorously collected a few of the papers on his desk and stretched them towards Phillip.

The younger man walked towards him and took them, turning back to his own desk. "Thanks, Barnum." He sat down and quickly scanned through the paper, double checking if they are all signed as he let out a silent yawn.

The ringmaster giggled, probably not expecting for his junior partner to hear him.

Phillip questioningly shifted his gaze towards the cheerful man, "What?" Not getting an immediate answer back, he repeated his question, "What is it?"

Barnum shook his head and his eyes diverted away from Phillip, "Do not worry, nothing specific."

Phillip raised his eyebrows, starting to feel offended, "Are you laughing at me?"

"No! No, I am just toying with you. Well, actually... I hope you _do_ know that my name is Phineas, right?" He smiled as he looked back at Phillip from his desk, "You do not always have to keep all that last name basis with me, Phillip. I will not get offended."

"Well, I like keeping some kind of _formality_." Phillip shrugged, secretly replaying all of his conversations with the ringmaster. And Barnum was right, Phillip never addressed him as ' _PT_ ' or ' _Phineas_ ' unlike the other circus acts.

Ever since Phillip was a kid, he was always taught to refer to people that were in higher authority by their last name. During some occasions such as the weekly upperclassman gatherings ( _that he very much despised_ ), Phillip vividly remembers how his own father strictly ordered his own son to address him as ' _Mr Carlyle_ ' throughout all of them. And he always went with it. Like every exemplary son, he did not dare to disrespect his father.

"And I like keeping some kind of _familiarity_." Barnum debated, "Of course, it does not bother me. I have been called lots of names throughout my lifetime. I can assure you that _Barnum_ is not the worst one out of them." He grinned, “I am just letting you know that you are allowed to be casual with me. On any occasion."

"I will take that into consideration..." Phillip dragged on, "...PT." He flashed the ringmaster a mindful smile as he focused back on the papers in his hands.

Barnum approvingly nodded, "There we go."

After a moment of silence, Phillip held out one of the papers in the air, “Formality or not, you forgot to sign this one.”

" _Damn it_ , and I thought I managed to do all of them! Hand it over." The ringmaster reached out his hand.

Phillip lazily stood up from his desk, handing over the paper. As he waited for Barnum to sign it, he decided to continue his teasing.

"And how did you manage to make such a foolish mistake, _Phineas Taylor Barnum_? Do you not take your work seriously?" He asked in a demeaning tone.

Barnum let out a loud laugh as he looked back up at his apprentice, handing him back the now signed paper, a huge grin plastered on his face.

"Am I going to regret my request of informality, _Phillip Carlyle_?" He teased back.

"Most certainly, _P.T. Barnum_." Phillip assured as he elegantly walked back to his own desk, letting out a giggle when he finally finished stacking up the paper file.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, it’s a double update!

Chapter 6

It was just another usual night out for him after a long day of work. But his peaceful alone time got quickly disturbed by the well-known voice.

" _Mr Carlyle_."

Phillip shivered in his seat. His eyes fixated immediately on the shot glass in front of him, hoping the person who said those words will walk away. _Oh, please, walk away._

" _Alright_ , no fighting in my bar, boys." Daniel immediately declared, angrily waving the group of men away with one of his arms as he cleaned the tables around them.

"Who said we were going to fight? We just wanted to say hi to New York's _finest star_ ," Phillip heard one of the men's footsteps behind him as the other ones laughed, "What do they call you out there again, Carlyle?"

" _Piss off_ , Shuler." Phillip fired, as he downed his glass and turned around in his seat to see the familiar upperclassman in front of him.

The group of men laughed again.

"Oh, I'm sorry to break your nice little somber party over here, Carlyle." He mocked.

Phillip shoot up from his seat, drunkenly steadying himself by leaning into the bar with one of his hands.

"Boys." The bartender warned them once again.

"Just look at yourself, Carlyle. What a depressing view. Still drinking your guts out. And you even decided to hang out with that Barnum freak during your free time? I _bet_ your father is proud of you." Shuler grinned, stepping closer towards Phillip, challenging him.

"You should ask your mother." The younger man spat.

As soon as those words left Phillip's mouth, he knew exactly what was coming. The powerful upperclassman lunged towards him and harshly grabbed at his shirt with both of his hands, shoving Phillip away from the bar to the hard ground.

"He sure does speak _too_ loud for a moocher. Let me fix that." Shuler kneeled, throwing a fist to the disoriented Phillip's face. The group behind them cheered as they watched his actions.

The younger man winced, covering his face with his hands and rolling to his side. Before the upperclassman could throw another punch, the bartender stepped in front of Phillip, lightly shoving the aggressive man away.

"Get out of my bar or I'm calling the goddamn police. _Get out_ , all of you." He glared at Shuler and back at the group of men, who were way too overjoyed after the confrontation.

"Oh, Daniel. I can't believe you're still letting this boozehound stay in your bar."

"My bar, my rules. Get the hell out." He stated, quickly turning to check on the flinching Phillip.

"How ironic for you to choose that freak circus as your new hobby. Watch your back, Carlyle. This is not over." Shuler threatened, spitting beside Phillip's head as he stood up and followed the group out.

"Are you alright, Mr Carlyle?" Daniel inquired as the bar doors finally closed, leaving them alone. He carefully helped the shivering man sit up.

Phillip's hand was covering the left part of his face, a few drops of blood running down his wrist as he tried to calm his breathing.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." He assured.

As soon as the bartender noticed the state of Phillip's face, he stood up and quickly walked over to the bar. He took out one of the towels from the cabinets and moistened it up with a jar of water. Daniel walked back to his wounded customer, handing the wet towel to him.

"Thanks." The younger man pressed the towel to the side of his face, flinching at the pain from the cold contact.

"Do you want me to get someone? Mr Barnum or..."

" _No, no_. No. I'll be fine. I'll be fine, do not worry about me." Phillip quickly assured, as he slowly stood up, not risking for anyone - _especially_ Barnum - to see him in this state in the middle of the night.

Daniel stood up with him, concernedly watching the younger man trying to balance himself.

"I'm going home. I will- I'm going." Phillip told him, as he began running the unoccupied hand through his pocket. He handed the first few banknotes to the bartender, quickly shaking his head when Daniel moved to look for change.

"Have a nice night." Phillip nodded to him, drunkenly walking out, not giving the now bloody scene a second look as he ferociously pushed open one of the doors of the bar with his shoulder, still holding the cold towel pressed to his face.

"Shit. Fuck. Fucking bastard." Phillip painfully panted, as he unsteadily walked through the empty and dark New York street, heading towards his home.

—

" _Phillip_! What happened to you?" Anne worriedly ran over to him, catching all of the circus acts attention as soon as the junior partner entered the building, ready for a new day with a fresh bruise plastered on his left eye.

Phillip sighed and shook his head, angrily waving his arms in defense when she tried to get a closer look at him.

"Nothing, Anne. It's nothing. I promise. Just a small accident." He reassured her, trying to continue his walk towards his office.

The circus acts concernedly walked towards the two of them, blocking Phillip's path. Lettie gasped.

"Phillip, are you okay?" She covered her mouth with her hands in shock.

"What happened?" Anne repeated herself.

"Tell me the names, I'll take care of them." Tom announced from the back of the group.

"Nothing. _No_. Nothing happened." Phillip babbled, already getting exhausted from the constant questions, "Please, _stop_ worrying. I promise, I'm alright. Just had a small accident this morning. I'm fine." He finally stated, a feeling of untamed annoyance running through his veins.

He aggressively pushed past the group, quickening his steps as he walked past the circus ring, feeling everyone's eyes scanning him and his movements. He could already hear all the whispering starting to appear and he hurriedly disappeared under the red drape, walking towards the office.

"Morning." Phillip casually announced as he opened the door. Not waiting for any reply, he immediately walked over to his desk and threw off his coat, keeping his face low and away from the ringmaster's stare.

"Ah, there you are! Slept well?" Barnum happily replied, shifting his attention away from the daily newspaper as he cheerfully took off his glasses to get a look at his very preoccupied junior partner on the other side of the room.

" _Great_ , and you?" Phillip uninterestedly carried on the conversation, his back still facing Barnum's stare as he kept moving around random papers on his desk.

"Fine..." Barnum curiously followed Phillip's movements, noticing the weird tone in his voice, "Is everything okay?"

"Yep." Phillip stated, a bit too enthusiastically. He threw his notebook on the table after shuffling through the papers again. Finally, he took out a random note and inspected it for a while, still not bothering to look back at the ringmaster.

"You are currently staring at a blank paper, Phillip. You sure everything's fine?"

Phillip bolted up when he realized that the man was already behind him, his tall figure watching over his shoulder.

" _Alright_ , Phillip, look at me, enough with the spectacle." He ordered, getting irritated by the unnatural behavior from his apprentice, "What's bothering you?"

Phillip let out a loud sigh and finally turned around, his blue eyes meeting the warm hazel ones. He quickly looked down as he heard the ringmaster stifle when he noticed the bruise. Before Phillip got to shift his body back to his paperwork, he immediately got stopped by Barnum's strong hands gripping his shoulders, forcing him to him face the older man's worried glare.

" _Who the hell_ did this?" He hissed, softly pressing his thumb on Phillip's chin, tilting up his face and taking a closer look, his other hand still steadying the now trembling man in front of him. Phillip could feel Barnum's warm breath near his face, his skin heating up at the unexpected contact and closeness from the ringmaster.

" _No one_." Phillip softly stated, "No one." He repeated himself, clearing up the lump in his throat, slowly starting to wriggle out of Barnum's grasp, "Let go off me." He shook the hand off his face. Barnum hesitantly stepped back, his eyes never leaving Phillip's bruise area.

"Phillip, tell me who it was and I will take care of it. Have you gone to the police?" He questioned.

"There is no need."

"What do you mean ' _there's no need_ '? Phillip, you have clearly been attacked by some lunatic and they have to face the consequences." Barnum insisted, starting to get angry.

"There is no need I said." Phillip shouted, startling the man in front of him, "I got drunk. I found a random man in the bar and attacked him. Now I am the one dealing with the consequences of that." He pointed to the bruise, " _Happy_?" He sneered, turning away from the ringmaster, furiously digging through the papers on his desk.

Barnum stood in his place, contemplating his next actions as he watched the stressed junior partner shuffling through his desk.

"Hey," He finally called, carefully stepping towards the young man and placing his hand on his constantly moving shoulder, "Hey, just _stop_. _Stop_ that." He softly ordered, feeling him eventually slouch under his touch.

Phillip let out a scoff. He leaned towards his desk and closed his eyes as he shook his head, "I did not mean to shout at you, I am sorry."

Barnum walked closer to him, comfortingly rubbing Phillip's back as he stepped to his side, taking a look at his exhausted face, "Shh, don't worry. _Breathe_. You need to cool off."

"My life's fucked up, Barnum. _I am fucked up_." Phillip finally broke down, shifting away from the table as he turned towards the man in front of him once again, tears starting to get visible in the corners of his blue eyes, "Don't you dare say I'm not. You know I am, you told me the other day." He shakily spoke, "All that shadow and shit in my eyes. _You_ told me that."

Barnum shushed him once again, shaking his head, "No, Phillip. I never said that there is something wrong with you. Do you need a helping hand? Certainly, you do." He paused, "But there is _nothing_ wrong about requiring guidance out of it. In fact, you are one of the most conscientious men I have ever know. And I believe that as long as you keep your mindset in the right path, you will manage to accomplish great things for your own wellbeing."

Phillip looked down, rapidly blinking his eyes as he tried to recollect himself, absorbing Barnum's words.

" _Hey_ ," He softly called, making the wide blue eyes look back on him, "It will all be okay. Trust me. Just let me help you." He placed his hands on Phillip's arms, giving them a reassuring rub.

The next move was as surprising to Phillip, as it was for Barnum. The younger man spontaneously leaned in and wrapped his arms around the ringmaster's waist, leaning his chin on his broad shoulder as he closed his eyes, immediately starting to regret such action. But Barnum did not let the man backtrack as he shifted his hands away from Phillip's arms and placed them on his back, gently caressing him.

"Is that all Mr Carlyle needed? _A hug_? You should've just asked." The ringmaster teasingly whispered into his ear, trying to lighten up the atmosphere in the room.

"Shut up, Barnum." Phillip groaned at the ruined moment, trying to back away as he felt his cheeks already heat up, but the stronger man firmly held him in his place.

"No, no, I _do_ like hugs. Quite a hugger man, me." He giggled, "As long as it helps you to-"

" _Silence_." Phillip buried his nose into the ringmaster's white shirt, enjoying the scent of the familiar cologne as he heard a low chuckle coming from Barnum. He decided to solemnly respect his junior partner's proposition. They both stood in that position for a few minutes, a smile never leaving PT's face as he carefully rubbed Phillip's back.

After a long sleepless night filled with overthinking, nightmares and dreadful body pain, all Phillip longed for was to get back the _safe_ feeling only Barnum and this circus managed to give to him. He was excited to go back to the building and have engaging conversations with his beloved oddities, watch them rehearse while he just sat there and absorbed their positivity. Admittedly, he did not plan to go into a full embracing hug with the ringmaster today, but right now he was glad his inner spontaneity choose to do exactly that.

Finally, Phillip decided it was time to back away and he let go of the man in front of him.

"Feeling better?"

Phillip nodded as he took one step back, casually fixing up the sleeves of his own shirt.

"You are still not going to let me know who did this to you, correct?" Barnum asked, his eyes never leaving Phillip's.

"I told you, I-"

"Phillip, I know for a fact that story is not true." He cut him off, "After just a few weeks of knowing you, I can guarantee that you would never willingly get into a fight with someone. That is _not_ you."

Phillip exhaled in defeat, shaking his head and turning to the chair near his desk, lazily sitting down on it and looking up at Phineas.

"Stop worrying. I'm fine."

Barnum emphatically nodded, showing he expected such answer from his usual stubborn apprentice "Very well."

He nonchalantly walked back to his desk, noting something down with his pen as his back faced Phillip. The younger man furrowed his brows watching this action, but tried to brush it off as he ran a finger through his messy hair, taking a deep breath.

"What a morning." He finally said, as Barnum turned around.

"You sure do know how to make a scene, Phillip. I am impressed." He finally flashed him a humorous smile, walking towards the door, "Come on, let's go join the group before they start thinking we slaughtered each other in here."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

It seemed like it was going to be an usual day at the circus until Phillip's conversation with Anne got quickly interrupted by a childish voice echoing through the building walls.

"Daddy!"

Phillip wasn't quick enough to turn around when two small girls ran past him and Anne, jumping past the ring borders and dodging the rehearsing circus acts, not even giving them a second look as they sprinted towards the changing areas, their bright dresses getting engulfed in the darkness. The junior apprentice was about to chase the unwelcome guests and expel them out of the circus until Anne softly stopped him by holding on to his arm.

"Don't worry about them." She reassured the bewildered man, "It's his daughters."

"Who's?" Phillip confusingly asked as he heard the girls bickering behind the drape, his eyes not leaving the area.

He immediately got his answer when the well-known baritone voice happily answered to the childish bickering.

"My girls! C'mere, give daddy a cuddle!"

An immediate realization hit Phillip and he felt his chest tighten at the fact which he wholeheartedly did not dare to accept.

"Barnum has children?" He asked as he turned back to Anne, saying those words out loud like it was almost a statement.

"Well, yes. He hasn't told you?" She asked, visibly caught off guard by Phillip's reaction.

"No... Not really." Phillip shrugged, "I mean, it's not like I asked. But..." He dragged on, shaking his head.

"He's quite a private person, don't worry." Anne reassured him, "They're from his last marriage. Caroline and Helen. Wonderful girls, they visit him a few times a month."

"Last marriage?" Phillip stated again, fully astounded by this perplexing new Barnum information that he got in the span of a few seconds.

Anne was about to open her mouth but then the ringmaster himself walked out of the drape covered area, brightly grinning as he held both of his daughters in each of his arms.

"How are you ballet lessons, Caroline? Sorry I missed your last play, you know daddy's schedule is always so hectic." He softly kissed the bright pink cheeks of the brunette girl as his eyes met Phillip and Anne standing behind the ring.

"It was okay. Mommy said I looked like a princess." She giggled, tightly holding her small arms around her father's neck.

"Of course you did, my favorite princess." Phineas happily confirmed as he leaned down to let both of the girls go.

"Am I a princess too?" The blonde girl squeaked, clinging on to his arm when her legs finally reached the ground.

"I thought you wanted me to refer to you as my mermaid, darling." Barnum laughed, ruffling her blonde locks and giving her a quick kiss on the forehead

"But mermaids are princesses too!" She enthusiastically stated.

"Alright, you're a princess too, my love."

" _That is not true_ , Helen! Mermaids can not be princesses!" The other girl argued as Barnum finally lifted himself up and met the curious stares of the circus duo in front of him, giving them an excited grin.

As Phillip watched the whole interaction go down, he realized how foolishly oblivious he was all this time. _Of course_ Barnum is a father. He should have grasped that fact as soon as he noticed all of the parental aura Barnum skillfully carried on his shoulders when it came to this circus and it's acts. How was Phillip so unwise to think that a middle-aged, charming and warmhearted man like Barnum would not have developed some kind of personal relationships behind these circus walls? Admittedly, Phillip did not think that he had years of marriage up his sleeve, especially two children that looked like they were about to step into their teen years. The young man did feel some kind of uneasy feeling in his stomach at the thought of Barnum keeping this information away from him, but as the ringmaster walked closer to him and Anne, Phillip brushed off that thought, thinking how there was obviously never a chance for Phineas' to bring up the family topic during work time.

"Enough bickering, you two." He chuckled as he looked down at them, "Have you said hi to Phillip and Anne?"

"Hi, princesses!" Anne replied as she kneeled down to get a hug from both of the girls.

The two of them excitedly ran into Anne's arms, cheerful laughs escaping their mouths when she lightly tickled them. Phillip uncomfortably stood on the side, his blue eyes meeting Phineas' stare who seemingly scanned the younger man's confused facial expressions before his eyes shifted back to his daughters.

"Girls, say hello to my new junior apprentice!" He encouraged.

The blonde girl escaped Anne's grip and her blue eyes met Phillip's, "Junior Venice?"

Phillip chuckled at the name choice, "The name is Phillip." He stretched out his hand towards the girl.

Before the blonde girl could give him a handshake, the brunette quickly grabbed Phillip's hand as she shoved her sister away, "I am Caroline."

"Nice to meet you, Caroline." Phillip giggled as he shook her small hand, noticing her facial features being very similar to her father's, "And what is your sister's name?"

"I am Helen. I am a mermaid." She confidently stated as she pushed away her blonde curls from one of her shoulders.

"I've always wanted to meet a mermaid." Phillip answered, as his eyes shifted back to Barnum. The ringmaster grinned at him, giving him a delightful nod.

"Can you fly in the air like Anne?" Caroline asked, her hand finally letting go of Phillip's.

"Oh, no. I am undoubtedly not as good at trapeze tricks like her. I help your father with sales. Signing papers and... stuff." Phillip shrugged, smiling at the two curious girls.

" _Boring_." Helen teased as she ran off to the circus ring together with her sister.

"Now, now, Helen. We respect all kinds of jobs, remember?" Barnum gently scolded his daughter, "There is no _boring_ jobs."

Phillip watched the two girls playfully dancing in the ring as they sang the songs he usually heard at the shows.

"Was Charity here?" Barnum turned to Anne.

"No, I did not see her." She honestly answered.

"Strange. I guess she just dropped them off for a few hours." He cleared his throat, "Oh, well. I'm glad I sent O'Malley to buy some end-of-the-week pastries for us from the bakery. Luckily we won't have to worry about dinner. We don't have any shows tonight, correct?"

Phillip nodded as he awkwardly stood in the middle and listened to their conversation, his eyes still protectively watching over the girls as they ran around the preoccupied circus acts.

"I still have a few papers to work on. Anne, do you think you could spare some of your attention towards the girls? I will try to be quick."

"Well, I had to rehearse-"

Phillip quickly interrupted, "I can take care of them."

Barnum shifted his surprised gaze towards Phillip, a smile starting to linger on his face, "You can?"

"Sure!" Phillip replied flashing him a smirk, "Have been wanting to try babysitting for a while."

Phineas laughed as he gratefully patted Phillip's shoulder, "Thank you, Phillip. I promise I will try to be quick." He turned to walk back to his office.

"Take your time!" Phillip reassured as he began walking towards the girls, nodding to Anne and signaling her that they will continue their conversation later.

Barnum looked back at the younger man and his daughters, fondly smiling at them before disappearing behind the red drape.

—

"Did you fight someone?" Helen inquired, her face curiously staring at the man in front of her as they played their little rule-free chess game on top of one of the tribunes.

Phillip sighed at the childish straightforwardness, "No..." He pondered, "A bee stung my eye."

Caroline laughed as she was watching their game, " _A bee_? Did you try stealing some honey?"

Phillip nodded, lifting one of his chess figures to the front, "Yep. That is exactly what happened. I tried stealing their honey. Don't ever do that, girls, or you'll end up with a swollen eye."

Helen giggled, accepting his little made up story as she placed one of the bishop figures in front of Phillip's king figure, "Check-mate."

"Ah, you see that is not how bishop moves." Phillip pointed out, "It moves in diagonal direction."

"What is diagonal?" The younger girl curiously asked.

"Like this." Phillip took the bishop figure and drew a W line on the chess board.

"Okay." Helen nodded as she took one of the pawns from her side and placed it in front of Phillip's king figure again, "Check-mate!" She enthusiastically announced, almost in the tone of her father.

Phillip let out a giggle, "You know what, after a bit of training and with your determination, I'm sure you will become New York's finest chess champion."

"I know, my daddy said the same." She proudly nodded, standing up from her seat.

Phillip grinned at her, imagining Barnum playing chess with his daughters and feeling his heart warm up at the idea of him patiently describing the directions in which each figure moves.

As Phillip listens to the different stories these girls tell him, he can't help but compare it to his childhood. He wishes he had a father like Phineas. These girls speak of their dad like he is their best friend, whereas Phillip's father was his worst enemy. His younger self spent all of the years being fearful of him. A chess game with his own father would have ended up with Phillip getting brutally ridiculed for each wrong move he did.

"Phi, do you have a girlfriend?" The blonde girl curiously asked, getting Phillip out of his thoughts.

Phillip chuckled at the randomness of the question, "I don't."

The girls giggled as they whispered something in each other's ears.

"What?" Phillip smirked, "No gossiping without me!"

Caroline blushed as she secretively leaned towards him and whispered, "Do you love Anne?"

Phillip felt his body cringe at the thought and that left him deeply disgusted with himself. Anne was a wonderful girl and there was nothing wrong with her, even if she was a part of the oddities. She was a beauty and Phillip felt honored to know someone like her.

"She's an incredible friend." He finally answered.

The girls winked at each other.

"No, no. She _really_ is just a friend to me." Phillip realized how that sentence might have sounded for their young ears, "She is a wonderful friend but I don't think we-"

" _Where are my princesses_?" The ringmaster called, catching the attention of the two girls.

They both quickly jumped off the tribunes, not bothering to hear the rest of Phillip's explanation as they excitedly ran to their cheerful father who stood at the end of the circus ring.

"Are my ladies hungry? The King of Deception should have brought you some food." He asked, looking around for O'Malley and getting a few giggles from the girls at the nickname choice.

Phillip sighed as he vigorously jumped off from one of the tribunes, trying to walk back to his office. He bumped into Anne, who was tying up one of her trapeze ropes to the column.

"How was the babysitting?" She casually asked, tying up another knot and turning back to Phillip, who did not seem in the mood to have this conversation right now.

"Amazing. They're really nice." Phillip spoke, looking back at the girls and Barnum, trying to keep his gaze away from Anne.

"I love them. Truly makes me want to have kids one day." She giggled, following Phillip's stare.

"Yeah..." Phillip cleared his throat, feeling the weird and confusing feeling in his stomach wake up again, "I have to go to the office." He finally spoke, walking past Anne.

The woman gave him a worried look but brushed it off as she strengthened the knot on the column again.

Phillip rushed to the office, feeling himself getting sick. He closed the door behind him and leaned into it, taking deep breaths as drops of sweat began forming on his forehead. After a few minutes he finally exhaled and pushed himself off the door, walking over to his desk and hurriedly sitting down. He grabbed his notebook, trying to get his mind off his racing thoughts by doing what he does best - calculating.

—

"Phillip, there you are. I didn't get to thank you for taking care of the girls." Barnum entered the office after a few hours, nodding at his junior apprentice as he walked over to his own desk and plopped down, "Charity let me know that they will be visiting us again next week. She is a bit too busy with work these days."

"No worries." Phillip answered, sketching random things on his notes, "Your daughters are great." He added, trying to not act affected by the fact that Phineas never mentioned them or Charity herself for that matter.

"They are.” Barnum confidently confirmed, uninterestingly looking at his busy apprentice as he lazily leaned into his chair.

Phillip stared at the pencil in his hands, nervously nibbling on it with his fingers, feeling the ringmaster being a bit more cold unlike he was a few hours ago.

"I already let the other acts know about this - have you seen the telegram we got this morning? The Queen of England is coming to New York next week! Guess who she is visiting." He did not wait for Phillip's answer as he lifted up the letter, " _Me_!" He giggled.

The younger man felt a bit uncomfortable about the fact that Phineas' used the word ' _me_ ' after always making it clear to use ' _we_ ' when talking about the circus’ achievements.

The ringmaster continued, "I mean, she is bringing the whole of Buckingham palace here. Even gave us invites to a little celebration at one of the upperclassmen hives. Not bad for a tailor's boy, eh?"

"Yeah." Phillip finally replied, feeling his throat getting dry at the thought of him going to that party, knowing very well what kind of people will be there. What bothered him even more was that feeling of some kind of unusual cool energy coming off from Barnum, but he did not really understand if he was just imagining all of it or if Phineas was actually bothered about something. Phillip indistinctly shook his head at such thoughts, blaming it on the daughters that probably tired the poor father out.

"I think I'll be heading home, since we don't have any shows tonight. I've already researched our estimated sales for next week." Phillip finally announced, "Unless you want me to do anything else?" He stood up, grabbing his coat from the hanger.

"No, you can go." Phineas answered.

Phillip nodded, putting his top hat on and wrapping his scarf around his neck as he faced his desk.

"Although before you leave - I did get notified that there is some _circus romance_ going on." Barnum finally spoke out.

The younger man froze and turned to the ringmaster. He was not imagining things.

" _Circus romance_? No, _no_. You misunderstood." He shook his head, his body fully tensing.

"Calm down, Phillip. It is not forbidden to love. In fact, this circus was built just for the sake of spreading it." Barnum laughed, his voice a bit too cheerful than usual, "But please, _do_ know your boundaries. Keep the lovey dovey stuff outside the circus walls, alright?"

Phillip felt his whole body go numb after Phineas' speech, "PT, that is not... We do not-"

"Phillip. It is fine. Anne is a _great_ girl." Barnum nodded, shifting his attention back to the papers on his desk and ending the conversation, "See you tomorrow."

Phillip shook his head, starting to feel sick once again over such a small childish misunderstanding. He did not even comprehend why he felt so bad over it. Phillip quickly exited the room, feeling himself run out of energy after the ringmaster dodged all of his explanations. As he was about to leave the circus, he met Anne near the entrace, who was getting ready to go home with W.D.

"Anne, can I please talk to you for a second?" Phillip called, giving W.D. and apologetic look.

"Sure," She happily walked over to Phillip, leaving W.D. standing further away from them, "What is going on?"

"Anne, we're friends right? We're just friends. I'm genuinely sorry if I gave out any wrong idea. PT's daughters just made up this silly rumor..." Phillip babbled, feeling his cheeks heat up at the awkwardness of the conversation.

Anne grinned, finding this whole conversation funny unlike the younger man, "Phillip, are you _seriously_ this distressed over a childish joke? Of course you're my friend. Nothing more. I do not feel like looking for any kind of romantic attachments at my workplace, you can be sure of that."

Phillip exhaled in relief, "Well, for certain someone it did not seem like a joke."

"Barnum?" Anne laughed, "Why are you so worried about _him_ knowing your relationships?"

Phillip stammered, "I don't... I don't know. It's just that he... Well."

"Relax, he won't fire you for some insignificant stuff like this." She grinned, patting his shoulder.

 _No_. Phillip wanted to tell her that it was not about Barnum firing him that got him so concerned. For some unexplainable reason, he did not want Phineas to think that he was in _any_ kind of relationship. _Not_ with Anne. _Not_ with anyone else. It did not feel insignificant for him, especially after seeing the ringmaster's reaction to such information.

"Go home, Phillip. Everything is fine. You're just tired."

—

To Phillip's great dismay, everything did not turn out to be fine. Barnum clearly avoided him for the rest of the week. Even if he kept his usual friendly approach towards Phillip, it all felt forged. The ringmaster stopped staying in the office with his junior apprentice during late evenings, making up excuses that he had plans with his daughters. And Phillip has never felt more alone in the circus, even when he was surrounded by the oddities. He wanted to confront Barnum, but he also knew it would be very unprofessional to even bring up the topic that caused all of this. With each day that passed, he felt himself getting more angry at the ringmaster. Phillip found himself wanting back the intimate stares and the encouraging back rubs. He _craved_ for Barnum's attention during the shows, feeling disappointed when his deep brown eyes never paid attention to his presence at the back of the tribunes. The thrill of being in the circus was gone and all Phillip wanted to do at the end of the day is drown himself in his alcohol sorrows, which Phineas' was supposed to get him out of.

Phillip _hated_ feeling like this. The New York's biggest charmer had him wrapped around his finger and he never realized that until the very day P.T. Barnum distanced himself from him. It drove the younger man insane. Why did he even care so much? After all, he was just a circus man, someone who Phillip would've definitely avoided if he lacked the indescribable attraction that Barnum had.

"Bastard." Phillip grunted as he turned in his bed, shifting his pillow in a more comfortable position, continuing his overthinking session.

But even if he felt angry at the ringmaster, he could not contain himself from remembering that one moment they had in the office. The hug that Barnum gave Phillip, when the younger man was on the verge of a breakdown. He still finds himself wishing he could relive it all again, even if it seemed a bit improper to even think of hugging your own boss. He had never seen anyone in the circus get any kind of embrace from the ringmaster and for once, Phillip felt like he was truly special to someone. The intimacy that he had with Barnum was unique. And Phillip lost it just because of...

Sometimes he genuinely wonders if Phineas was jealous of the fact of Phillip and Anne being together. But such thoughts just gave him chills. Why would someone like Barnum be jealous? Of a relationship? Could be - he's a divorced man after all. But there was also another idea that came to Phillip's mind that he could not even dare to think of, even if deep down - he wishes it was true in some certain ways. And with these thoughts, the junior apprentice fell asleep, dreaming of a _certain circus king_ in a red suit embracing him back to his safety once again, _not_ letting him go.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

The week of Queen Elizabeth's visit to New York was a true turmoil for the city, but for someone as chaotic as the Barnum's circus acts it was just another regular week full of rehearsals. A slight pressure was felt in the ringmaster's motivational morning speeches, he was determined to make a good impression on the so called britons.

Whereas Phillip did not feel stressed about the show itself. He trusted the oddities and Barnum and he knew they would be their usual spectacular selves on the show day. The thing he was the most nervous about was the upperclassmen party they were invited to attend with Phineas. He knew what kind of people would be there. The thought of meeting all of them again after months of avoiding these kind of gatherings made his stomach turn.

"Are you okay?" Anne inquired, walking past the perplexed apprentice as she was about to go upstairs to get to her trapeze.

Phillip woke up from his thoughts, promptly moving away from the column that he was leaning on, "Oh, yes. I'm fine, sorry. Just a bit tired, that's all."

"Hectic week for all of us, eh?" She giggled, patting his shoulder and walking away.

" _Phillip_ , keep up." The ringmaster shouted, shifting the younger man's attention back to the ring, "I am going to need your opinion on this new stage set up. _No_ distractions."

Phillip felt a mix of guilt and anger boiling inside of him once again, "Sorry." He simply answered, glaring at the ringmaster who nonchalantly turned away from his apprentice, pushing some of the decorative props to the middle together with O'Malley and Vasily. Phillip wanted to walk up to Barnum and scream at his face, maybe even shove him against a wall just to experience a minute of his hazel eyes on him - the admirable eye contact he so much craved; plead him to stop treating his junior apprentice so frigidly. Phillip yearned for the amiable Phineas and he was determined to get him back, even if he had to fight the Queen of England herself for just a small cheeky comment from the ringmaster.

"Don't mind him, Carlyle, he's got something up his arse all week." Lettie humorously commented, making sure Barnum heard her. The ringmaster ignored, motioning for Vasily to push one of the props towards him.

Phillip knew this was his chance to get at him, "No worries. We all have our bad days. PT has his bad weeks." He smirked, winking at Lettie.

As Lettie laughed at Phillip's remark, the younger man looked back at the ringmaster, who seemingly had heard the comment as he loudly cleared his throat.

"Mr Carlyle, be so kind," He finally turned to Phillip, his eyes glaring at the smirking junior apprentice, "Go tidy up the office. I think it needs some cleaning before the Queen's visit."

Phillip disinterestedly folded his arms as he leaned back at the column, knowing he was playing with Barnum's last nerves, "Her majesty is going to check out our office? How kind."

" _Now_." Phineas declared, a bit too loudly, making everyone turn to Phillip.

The junior apprentice gulped, not expecting such a harsh reaction from Barnum for his innocent teasing. He looked at Lettie, who nodded for him to just do as the ringmaster says. Phillip moved away from the column and walked towards the office. He purposefully walked past the taller man, not breaking the intense eye contact as he sarcastically muttered, "Right away, Mr Barnum."

—

The royal show day finally arrived and it seemed like the whole city of New York were talking about the fact that the Queen of England would ' _go to one of the freak shows_ '. Such conversations sparked protests outside the circus building for a few days in a row, declaring ' _to protect the town from nationwide embarrassment_ '. But when the time for Queen's arrival to the circus came, the building was tightly protected by the British guards and the protesters had no choice but to leave if they wanted to keep their heads safe on their shoulders.

Phillip was in his and Barnum's office, changing his clothes for the big show. He felt a bit tense, but after all, he was sure the Queen wouldn't pay much attention to him during the visit. He took off his shirt, looking around for the suit that him and Phineas once went to buy together. He loves remembering that day - him and Barnum going through New York streets, happily having their own intimate conversations.

As Phillip grabbed a new white shirt from one of the hangers near his desk, the ringmaster walked in, immediately directing his eyes at the shirtless junior apprentice in front of him. Phillip gave him a quick nod, looking away from him as he started to button up the shirt.

The ringmaster gave him a nod back. He walked to his desk, giving another quick look at Phillip who was now pulling on the black suspenders onto his shoulders, his back facing Barnum.

The man cleared his throat, "I know this week has been stressful and a bit tense for both of us, Phillip."

Phillip grabbed his red suit from the hanger, turning to look at Barnum, waiting for him to continue.

"But I hope we can still go to the party together tonight."

Phillip silently sighed, not really expecting his speech to end like that, "Yeah. S'fine. I will go with you."

Phineas nodded, grabbing the top hat from his desk and walking back to the door, not giving the encouraging shoulder pat he usually gave his junior apprentice before each show.

"Uh, Phineas?" Phillip called.

The ringmaster peeked out of the door, giving a distant look, "Hm?"

"Good luck tonight. You'll do great."

Phineas nodded, a small smile appearing on his face, "Thank you, Phillip."

The door closed and Phillip was left alone once again. He angrily hit his fist on the desk in front of him as he leaned into it, frustratingly running his hands through his nicely brushed hair.

" _Fucking hell_ , Barnum."

—

Rumor has it, that allegedly the very Queen Elizabeth of England had so much fun at " _P.T. Barnum's circus_ ", she even requested to buy the whole building with it's acts and bring all of it back to Britain. Sadly, this Queen's desire was not sanctioned. Although, before leaving, she still could not take off her eyes from the General Tom Thumb, asking Barnum if she could hire him as her personal joker.

"I'm afraid that is not possible, Your Majesty." Phineas cheekily replied, "Tom Thumb is a _crucial_ part of the circus and I do not want to lose him. But please, feel free to visit us, or him for that matter, any time you want. It would be an honor."

The show was followed by a thunderous applause from the British audience. Phineas and Phillip could not even lead all of the crowd out, since they immediately had switch to more acceptable clothes and head to their carriage to go to the dreaded upperclass party.

Phillip nervously fixed his white bowtie while looking out of the carriage window, avoiding meeting Barnum's stare. The ringmaster was visibly in an euphoric state and he dreamily hummed out some of the songs from the show as he brushed a few dust particles off the shoulder of his black tailcoat.

When they finally arrived to the enormous government building, Phillip's heart dropped. He felt his hands getting shaky when they walked up the marble stairs to the crowded main hall, already feeling the stares and whispers from the people around them. All he wanted was to go back to a safe place, far away from these individuals. They walked over to the side of the hall, trying to get used to the new area. Phineas' curious eyes scanned the building and all of the people in here, while Phillip nervously stood beside him, keeping his eyes and head down. He could not help but hear a group of men cheer a few feet in front of them and he cringed at the memory those voices brought him. He looked up and saw the same group of men he met in the bar a few weeks ago. Thankfully they did not notice Phillip's presence in the room yet, as they were having a heated discussion about their businesses and wives. What Phillip did notice, was the fact that Shuler, the very same man who gave him a bruise, was not present in the group this time.

Barnum skillfully grabbed two glasses of champagne from the waiter that walked past them, "Well, this is nice." He stretched one of the glasses towards his junior apprentice, curiously looking up at the gigantic chandelier hanging at the top of the hall.

When Phineas did not feel the younger man take the glass out of his hands, he turned to look at him. He followed his apprentices stare to the group of upperclassmen in front of them. " _Phillip_." He repeated, finally catching Phillip's attention.

"Sorry." The younger man answered, taking the glass out of Phineas' hand, lightly brushing past his calloused fingers, feeling himself shiver from the very short but longed touch.

"Remember what I said about people liking you, Phillip?" Phineas said as he shifted his attention back to the hall and the people in it, "Interesting. I wonder how much money went to this party. Champagne is not cheap these days either."

"Yeah." Phillip pressed the glass to his lips, keeping his eyes on the group of men in front of them as he downed half of the liquid in one go, not appreciating the weakness of this drink.

"Who's that?" Phineas curiously asked.

Phillip turned to Barnum and followed his stare towards the red haired woman in the snow white dress that the ringmaster's eyes were fixated on.

"The opera singer?" Phillip asked, a bit shocked that Barnum did not know her.

"Yeah." Phineas kept his eyes at her.

"That is Jenny Lind." Phillip stated, getting a questioning look from Barnum, "She is the most famous performer in all of Europe. Haven't seen her in New York for a while. But I've heard she sold out La Scala a dozen times. Not to mention the French opera."

" _Ah_." Barnum grabbed Phillip's arm as he dragged the younger man with him.

"What- _what are you doing_?" Phillip hissed, almost spilling his half-empty glass of champagne on himself.

"Following you so you can introduce me to miss Lind." Barnum confidently replied, still pushing the apprentice with him.

" _Introduce_ you?" Phillip whined, hoping the older man was just pulling a ridiculous joke on him.

Barnum positively replied, "Yeah."

"I don't know her!" Phillip laughed in disbelief as they were getting closer to the woman.

" _Everyone_ knows her, you just said so yourself." He stated, almost mocking Phillip as he kept pushing him forward.

Phillip scoffed, Barnum was behaving like a child, "Yeah, exactly. You don't march up to someone like this." He stated, having a bad feeling that the ringmaster was not pulling a prank anymore.

"Why not?" Barnum obliviously asked as they were almost in front of the woman, "We're personable. She's a _person_." As they finally stood in front of her, Phineas cleared his throat, catching the distracted woman's attention.

Phillip felt Barnum nudge him, "Uh, Miss Lind, my name is Phillip Carlyle", he nodded at the woman, feeling himself blushing at the awkwardness of the situation, "And this...," He announced, the sarcasm quite noticeable in his voice, " _Extraordinary_ gentleman next to me-"

Phillip got quickly cut off by Phineas, who probably sensed the introduction from his apprentice won't be as formal as he expected it to be.

"Phineas Taylor Barnum." He elegantly reached out for her hand, giving it a quick kiss, " _The pleasure is all mine_." He flashed her one of the famous Barnum grins.

Phillip immediately grasped what Phineas' was trying to do in this situation. He could not help but feel a huge wave of jealousy wash over him when he realized that the woman in front of him is getting all the Barnum attention Phillip has been craving for weeks now.

The woman gave them both a wide smile, her red lipstick outshining her perfectly white teeth, " _Of course_ , you are the circus man. I believe I might have heard of you."

Barnum giggled, "Well, if you have heard of me, I must have been doing _something_ right."

Phillip felt himself getting more and more angry after each sentence that was said out of the ringmaster's charming mouth. He was starting to suspect that Barnum was doing all of this on purpose to get back at him. To _make_ Phillip realize what he was missing out on.

" _That_ , or something very wrong." She smirked.

Barnum continued challenging her, " _Ah_ ," He nodded, "Well, in the world of publicity there is hardly a difference."

"I believe those are the words of a _scoundrel_ , Mr Barnum."

Phillip tensed. He knew Jenny Lind was not the most friendliest woman in the upperclass, but he did not think she would be this bold, especially in front of someone like Barnum.

The ringmaster was still stubborn to catch her interest, "A _showman_ , Miss Lind, just a _showman_. The best on this side of the Atlantic." He assured.

The junior apprentice started to feel sick and just wanted to get out of here. Immediately. He could not believe the always self-assured and sanctimonious ringmaster was letting this woman just trample over him like that. Phillip wanted to shove his champagne glass into Barnum's mouth just so his golden tongue would take a break from this flirting session. Phillip downed his glass, _just_ in case he tried to follow his plan.

"Well, if you do say so yourself." She mockingly answered.

"I do." Barnum grinned, "But I don't have to."

Barnum nudged Phillip once again, almost making the junior apprentice choke on his champagne.

"Oh, _no_." Phillip swallowed, not even being sure of their conversation topic at this point, "No."

There was no way Barnum did not know what he was doing to Phillip by including him in this discussion.

"Right?" Barnum did not take his eyes away from Miss Lind.

Phillip continued, hoping the ringmaster would realize that he wanted him to be done with this torturing conversation already, "No, _he is one of the best_." He stated, shifting his eyes on Barnum.

"Oh that's _very_ kind of you." He cheekily replied, giving a quick wink at Phillip as he looked back at Miss Lind.

Phillip was furious.

"If you'll excuse me." He politely nodded, not wanting to hear any of this conversation anymore as he stomped away from them.

Phillip grabbed two more champagne glasses from one of the waiters, downing both of them in just a few quick motions. He walked out of the hall into one of the less crowded corridors and threw the empty champagne glasses on to the marble floor, the glass loudly shattering behind him. Phillip continued walking through the corridor until he finally neared an exit. He harshly pushed open the heavy wooden door, finally breathing in some fresh evening air.

He knew _damn_ well where he was heading to now.

—

"Let me give you some advice, _Daniel_." He laughed as he drunkenly downed another shot of his whiskey, "Don't ever start working at a circus. _Worst_ idea ever."

The bartender nodded as he continued serving the very drunken and _strangely_ \- very outspoken Phillip.

" _Worst_. Idea." Phillip slurred, "Freaks. All of them. The ringmaster. _Him_." He shook his head, " _A narcissistic, self-indulgent_ -"

"Phillip, please turn around before you finish _that_ sentence." The familiar baritone voice called behind him, making the young man quickly turn his head back.

" _You_. Get out." Phillip hissed.

Barnum grinned as he sat down beside Phillip, "Why would I? This is a public space. I knew I would find you here."

" _Fuck you_ , Barnum." The younger man drunkenly spat as he turned his glare away from him.

"Watch your language."

Phillip angrily turned back at him "Watch your- your-"

" _Shhh_ ," Phineas softly pressed his index finger to Phillip's mouth, "No more."

Phillip's blue eyes confusingly looked at the finger underneath his nose.

"Let's settle this like adult men, alright?" He shifted closer to Phillip, " _Daniel_ , fill me up a glass."

" _Daniel_ , throw him out." Phillip mimicked.

"I'm afraid I don't have a reason to, Mr Carlyle." The bartender grinned as he filled up Barnum's shot glass.

"See?" The ringmaster smiled.

Phillip had enough, "Where's Jenny? Did she leave?" He drunkenly laughed, "Just like your wife Charity, I assume. Oh, right, _how_ would I know this? You never even told me about her." He spat.

Barnum was clearly not ready for such an enraged attack, "Phillip, you need to calm down and act like an adult." He sternly stated, all humor disappearing from his serious face.

" _Adult_?" Phillip shouted, "Be so kind and explain me those last few weeks, then! Those were truly the epitome of maturity, Barnum. First it was all the me and Anne having a _romance_ thing bullshit, then you entirely ignoring my presence and in the end - making me tidy up our office just because of a _stupid_ joke?" He mocked, " _Act like an adult, Barnum_."

Phillip took Phineas' silence as a sign to ask Daniel for another shot of whiskey.

"I can confirm, that was not very mature of me. It was a stressful week. First it was the girls visiting, then the whole Queen thing. I burned out." He admitted, giving Phillip an apologetic look, "I will admit that I was also _not_ happy about you hiding your relationship with Anne. You should always let me know about such stuff, Phillip, especially when it comes to the circus and it's acts."

Phillip slammed his hand on the table, "Anne and me are _not_ dating, Barnum, how many times do I have to repeat that to you?"

Phineas exhaled, "Well, frankly, it is easy to confuse your _little_ conversations and the stares for something else."

" _Stares_?" Phillip shook his head as he sipped from his glass, "Unbelievable."

The men sat in silence for a few moments, looking at their drinks. As Phillip was about to order another glass, Barnum stopped him.

"I think that is quite enough for you for the day. Let's go get some fresh air, Phillip."

The younger man did not have more energy to argue as he nodded, drunkenly rummaging through his pockets for money.

"I will take care of it." Barnum reassured, handing over a few generous banknotes to Daniel.

Phillip tried to stand up from his seat, but he lost his balance. The strong hands of the older man quickly wrapped themselves around his waist.

"Now, now. Do not get _too_ confident about walking all by yourself just yet. Here." He took the younger man's arm and placed it over his own neck, letting his apprentice shift his weight on to him.

"Say bye to Daniel." Phineas giggled, as they both slowly walked out of the bar, Phillip's head softly leaning on to the older man's broad shoulder.

As they both lumbered through the dark street, Phillip's drunken mind could not stop itself from asking all the questions that bothered him the most.

"Barnum?" He looked up at the man, his head still leaning on his shoulder.

"Yes, Phillip?" The ringmaster answered, keeping his stare towards the front of the road, making sure there is no obstacles in front of them.

"Why did you not tell me about your family?"

Phineas sighed, "See, that is not really a conversation to have during work time, Phillip."

"But- but your daughters." He stuttered.

"Yes, maybe I should have mentioned them to you." He repositioned Phillip's hand on his shoulder, "I apologize."

"Were you... _jealous_ of the fact of me and Anne being together?" Phillip blurted out, not really caring what comes out of his mouth anymore.

Phineas cleared his throat, "In _some_ ways, I guess."

"In _what_ ways?" Phillip pressed.

"And that is also not a conversation I would like to have right now, especially while you are intoxicated, Phillip." He stated.

"No?"

" _No_." He confirmed.

"You did flirt with Jenny, though. Right in front of me. _Bastard_." Phillip lightly pushed the ringmaster, almost making both of them lose their balance.

Phineas mischievously giggled, "Oh, so that _did_ work."

"I wanted to punch you." Phillip admitted

"I am flattered that my incredible flirting skills make you jealous, Phillip."

"I am not jealous. Jenny..." The younger man dragged on, "Jenny is _not_ a good woman."

"No?" Phineas humorously asked.

"No." Phillip assured, "A powerful man like you deserves someone better."

"Thank you for your advice Phillip. I will keep that in mind."

As they both slowly walked through the dark street, Phillip felt the exhaustion slowly get to him.

"Let's go to my flat." He declared.

"Alright, I will walk you to your home." Phineas agreed.

"No. Come inside, with _me_."

Barnum grinned, "Why?"

"I don't know. I haven't had visitors for a while. You can sleepover." Phillip murmured.

"I am afraid I can't do that, Phillip."

" _Why not_? You made plans with Jenny already?" Phillip was starting feel angry again.

Barnum laughed, "Oh for _goodness_ sake. Okay, I will go inside with you. I do not trust your capabilities to safely get to your own bed in this state."

" _Good_." Phillip nodded.

" _Good_." Barnum repeated, as they both headed towards Phillip's home, enjoying the fresh night air and each other's presence after a long, royal week. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for dragging on this update, i kept rewriting it but hopefully i got it right :) hope you’re all staying safe!


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Phillip woke up, feeling the daylight from his room window blaring through his eyelashes. Without any warning, his senses immediately felt a wave of pain washing throughout his skull and he winced, pushing his face into the pillow beneath him, hoping for the stinging to soften. He surely went a bit over his alcohol limit yesterday, consuming way more than his body is usually used to. He winced again, the stabbing pain in his head getting even more torturous.

"Phillip, are you okay?"

His eyes shoot up at the voice from the other side of the room. Distant memories from last night slowly began rushing in. Phillip opened up his eyes and turned to look at the person who was now walking towards him.

"Hi." Barnum grinned, "Slept well?"

He was wearing the same white shirt from yesterday's party, his face looked tired but, as always, that was not a reason for him to be in a bad mood.

"I think I'm going to die." Phillip croaked out, his voice raspy and weak.

"No, I am sure you won't, Phillip. Maybe feel a bit sick, that's all." Phineas tenderly placed his warm hand on Phillip's forehead, checking his temperature, "Champagne and whiskey is not a good mix."

Phillip closed his eyes again, enjoying Barnum's touch and attention.

"Wait," Phillip opened up his eyes again, "Did you-"

"You threatened to cry yourself to sleep if I left, so _yes_. I _did_ sleepover. I must say, your sofa is quite comfortable." Barnum giggled, taking his hand off Phillip's forehead as he looked back at the green old sofa at the end of the room.

Phillip cringed at the embarrassment his drunken self has brought upon him, "Oh god. I am so sorry. Whatever I said last night, I-"

Barnum silenced him, "You did not mean it. I know. We all say a lot of interesting stuff while drunk, Phillip." He laughed, sitting down at the side of the bed, rolling up the sleeves of his shirt, "Still, I thought I would rather stay here for the night, just so you wouldn't be completely disoriented in the morning."

"You didn't have to." Phillip shifted away, giving Barnum some space to sit. He felt guilty that he managed to ruin the day of the Queen's visit.

"But I _wanted_ to. Lovely home, by the way. Needs some cleaning, though." The ringmaster looked around, noticing a few cobwebs in the corner of the window.

"This is not home." Phillip sighed, fixing his pillow and closing his eyes shut again.

"No?" Barnum looked back at the younger man.

"Home is supposed to be a good place, filled with good memories and the people you love the most." He opened up his eyes to meet the ringmaster's stare, "This is just a dark and lonely room, that's all."

"Really?" Barnum lifted his eyebrow, not expecting such thoughts coming from the younger man's mouth so early in the morning, "Well, I guess, if you look at it that way."

"Phineas?"

"What?"

"Why did you break up with Charity?" Phillip realized this was his chance to finally bring up the topic, "You don't have to answer, if you don't feel like it." He quickly notified him, "It's just that... You had _everything_. A wife and two kids. You had your home. What happened?"

Phillip carefully watched the ringmaster's face, he knew he was playing with fire here.

Phineas exhaled and gave the younger man a reassuring soft smile, "The circus happened. I spent more of my time there than at home. Charity was a wonderful wife, but she deserved a husband who manages to balance work and his family. I was not the right man for that."

Phillip frowned, "But you do seem like a very family oriented person."

"Well," Phineas shrugged, "The circus became my second family, Phillip, and two families is a bit too much to handle."

"Then why didn't you leave the circus?"

"I thought of that. I tried to think of every plan imaginable just so I could keep my daughters and Charity with me." He turned his face to the window, "But I knew I would never be at peace with myself. I would still be on the lookout for things that would make me feel like I am doing _something sensational_. I might be a family man, but I am also a man who cannot stand in one place, Phillip. It is quite a problem, really." He giggled, turning back at the younger man, "Maybe I am just an overambitious fool, after all."

"You're not a fool." Phillip stated.

"Oh trust me, I spent a long time thinking I was. I ended up completely intoxicated in the darkest corners of all the bars in this city. Just like you, actually."

Phillip shifted uncomfortably. Naturally, he wanted to defend himself. He wanted to argue and tell Barnum that his drinking is not as bad as it seems. But as soon as he tried to move up from the pillow to answer, his body felt another wave of pain going all throughout his bones and he decided to keep it calm.

"So, speaking of that..." Barnum moved closer to Phillip and patted his leg, "Phillip. What's wrong?"

"Headache."

"No. Phillip, _what's wrong_? Why are you doing this to yourself?" His caring eyes scanned Phillip's face, "The amount of alcohol you manage to consume in one go is worrying. And that confirms it's something you have been doing for quite a while, even before I got to meet you."

The younger man felt exposed. It was almost like Barnum was slowly picking up a lock inside Phillip's chest that he had kept closed off for so long. He was terrified.

"I- I don't..." He shook his head, closing his eyes, trying to stop the tears that were begging to form, "Can we not talk about this right now?"

" _No_ , let's talk about it." Phineas stated, "We have time."

Phillip sighed as he buried his face into the pillow, using it as a shield from the ringmaster's intense stare.

"I am an embarrassment to my family, Phineas." He confessed, the pillow beneath him muffling out his voice, "I was supposed to become a successful businessman. My father had put so much money and time into my education. Have you ever wondered why I am so good at sales?" His teary blue eyes finally looked up at Barnum, "All those calculation skills, my abilities to estimate our weekly income, knowing how to adjust the prices, making them affordable, keeping the profit up high... All of that is a footprint of my father's hard work towards _me_ and _my success_. And what did I use all those skills for? Becoming an unsuccessful playwright? A circus man? I _bet_ my grandfather is rolling in his grave at that one." He sniffed, quickly wiping a tear from the corner of his eye.

Barnum didn't say anything, he just watched, his usual bright eyes looking more and more sad as the broken junior apprentice slowly lifted himself up from the pillow and sat up, revealing his clothing that he did not even bother to take off last night.

"Drinking takes me out of this world. Out of these constant thoughts. It is therapeutic. And maybe one day after a long night out at the bar, I will wake up in a place that is better than my own bed. Without any headache, surrounded by constant peace." He looked out of the window, leaning his head to the headboard.

"Phillip," Barnum finally spoke, leaning towards the younger man, "You are _so_ much more than your father wanted you to be," He reached out to softly wipe off a tear from the side of Phillip's cheek, " _So_ much more than that. You are hardworking and brave. Kind and loving. And I am so glad your father failed to sculpt the perfect son he always wanted, because the world would have never gotten the authentic Phillip I so much adore. You would have been just like the rest of those boastful upperclassmen at that party last night. Do you genuinely think they are living the perfect life?" He smiled and shook his head, "Their lives are dedicated to pleasuring their _ancestors_ , not _themselves_. And you are so brave for stepping out of that paved road and making your own. Wether you are a circus man or a playwright, _I am proud of you_."

Phillip was left speechless. He could not believe the man in front of him just told him everything he wanted to hear ever since he was a child. Barnum's words submerged into his heart, securing the pieces that were barely hanging on. _He was proud of him_. He was _proud_ of Phillip, the same individual that the younger man spent all his life running away from. The _Phillip_ he was so ashamed of, the one he desperately tried to destroy with all of the alcohol. Barnum was _proud_ of him.

"Phineas... Can I- Can I get a hug?" He shakily requested, admiringly looking at the man sitting on the side of his bed.

Barnum grinned, "C'mere."

" _No_." Phillip rejected.

Before Phineas could even move a finger, the oddly eager Phillip dragged the ringmaster by his shirt towards the narrow bed, making him lay down beside him. Phillip instantly wrapped his arms around Phineas' lower waist, burying his flushed face into the crook of the elder's neck. Barnum chuckled, slowly but delicately wrapping his arms around Phillip, letting the younger man rest his head on his right arm as he comfortingly stroked his slouched back with the other one. He placed his chin on top of the head beneath him, fully spooning Phillip into safety.

" _Thank you_." Phillip whispered, not sure if he was more grateful for the words the ringmaster said or for the fact that he did not withhold from this fairly inappropriate embrace.

"Phillip?"

The younger man cringed, knowing he probably took this too far, "I- I'm sorr-"

" _No_." Barnum strengthened his grip on him, "You stay right where you are." He soothed, "I just wanted to say... If this room ever feels _too_ lonely for you... Or even if you feel like you need some company at the bar." He joked, making the younger man mutter a ' _shut up_ ', "I am always available. I do _not_ want you to feel like you are alone ever again."

Phillip's heart fluttered.

"Do we have a deal?" He slightly moved away so he could get a better look at his junior apprentice.

The younger man looked up and met the warm hazel eyes he so much admired.

"Deal." He truthfully answered, breaking the eye contact and happily resting his head back on the ringmaster's chest. He felt himself snooze off as the strong arms were securely wrapped around him, finally shielding him away from the world.

—

After a few hour long nap together and to their great dismay - they both had to leave to go to the circus. And even though Phineas begged Phillip to continue getting his rest, the junior apprentice insisted to go with him, even if he had to survive the day with his stabbing headache. He just got his ringmaster back, and he did not want to lose him ever again.

Their road to the circus building was filled with lighthearted conversations, their shoulders lightly, almost accidentally, brushing at each other every few turns.

As they finally walked through the circus doors, a few of the acts could not help but curiously stare at the fashionably late but very cheerful duo.

"You are late. Had too many drinks at the party last night?" Lettie shouted, trying to distract the two from each other as they walked past the circus ring.

Barnum turned to her, flashing her a grin, "Our sincerest apologies."

Phillip nervously looked at the acts, clearly sensing the suspicion in the air. Phillip and Phineas were _both_ late and somehow, they _both_ arrived to the rehearsal. _Together_ and not _separately_ as they usually do.

"Come on, tell us everything. How was the party?" Tom asserted.

"Good." They both answered at the same time, bursting into giggles as Phineas softly nudged Phillip.

The circus acts confusedly stared at the duo. Deng Yan whispered something into W.D.'s ear and he chuckled, affirmatively nodding as they both smirked at the very lively ringmaster and his apprentice.

"If you'll excuse me, I have to go and change." He humorously tipped his top hat towards the acts and Phillip, "Leave all the questions to Mr Carlyle over here, thank you." He winked at Phillip and turned to walk towards the office.

" _You slick bastard_." Phillip whispered just so Barnum could hear.

Lettie cleared her throat, catching Phillip's attention again "So?"

"Well, it was quite boring." Phillip finally spoke, "There was free champagne."

"A recipe for a disaster." Anne stated, getting a few laughs from the acts.

"Definitely." Phillip nodded, "Well, that's all I can say or remember, really. Honestly, I would much rather have stayed at home."

"With Barnum." W.D. commented, getting a light slap from Deng Yan.

Phillip felt his cheeks heat up, "No. That is inappropriate."

"Sure is." Lettie mocked.

"We are just teasing you, Phillip." Deng Yan reassured the flushed apprentice, "You two just act like a married couple sometimes, it is hard to resist." She patted Lettie's shoulder.

"Anyways." Phillip cleared his throat, "I have to go... _Fix_ some paperwork. You guys... Just do your thing, alright?"

The circus acts let him go, continuing their little playful whispers about the duo as they went on to rehearse.

Phillip quickly walked to the office, opening up the door and immediately meeting the ringmaster right in front of him. The older man was checking himself out in the mirror as he buttoned up his new white shirt.

"Done with the interviews so soon?" He cheekily asked, giving a side look at Phillip.

"You bastard." Phillip closed the door, a smirk plastered on his face as he glared at the ringmaster in front of him.

Barnum uninterestingly fixed his suit collar, "Now, now. Do not be rude to your boss, Phillip."

"Why not?" The younger man challenged him, crossing his arms on his chest, watching Barnum slip up his black suspenders on his broad shoulders. He found it _quite_ alluring.

"Because I could make you work overtime." He humorously threatened, finally turning to Phillip.

"That is not a problem for me."

Barnum slowly walked towards him, " _Isn't it_?"

Phillip kept his head high, "No."

The ringmaster paused, his body just a feet away from the younger man.

"Seeing your last night's sleep schedule, I would _not_ be so sure, Mr Carlyle." He squinted his eyes.

"You did _not_ seem to mind it, Mr Barnum." Phillip retorted.

Barnum grinned, grabbing his red ringmaster’s jacket, “Oh, don't get me wrong, I don't mind some morning cuddles.” He answered, as he vigorously put it on, not losing the eye contact with Phillip, “Although I would much rather get to bed early tonight, just to avoid being late at work once again."

"So let me get this straight.” Phillip deliberately rested his fingers on his own chin, acting like he was deep in thoughts, “Not only are you selfishly inviting yourself to my bed again, you also propose night cuddles instead?"

"I don't know.” Barnum gave up, as he brushed off the nonexistent dust off his shoulders, “ _Do I_?"

"I will have to think about it."

Barnum walked closer to Phillip, “Well, luckily, you have all day for that." He teased, casually bopping Phillip’s nose with his index finger as he put his hand on the door handle, “Excuse me, Mr Carlyle. I have some _work_ to do.”

Phillip moved away from the door, staring at the radiating man in front of him, “Don’t _overwork_ yourself, Mr Barnum.”

The ringmaster winked at him as he finally walked out the door.

And Phillip was alone again, surrounded with the thoughts that seemed so inappropriate but so right.Him and Barnum were just close friends, but for some reason he could not stop reevaluating this fact, especially after their morning together. He is beginning to feel attracted to Barnum in more profound and inadmissible ways. As Phillip dreamily leaned himself on the door, he began reminiscing some memories that he has kept locked out for so long, shamefully suppressing the instinct that he has had in him ever since he was a teenager. The same disgraceful interest in men that had pinned the ‘ _scandal_ ’ title to his name. Phillip wondered if Barnum knew about his past a little bit more than he usually indicates. And if that was true, was he lenient to walk this troublesome road together with Phillip?

He sighed, mentally brushing all of these unrealistic scenarios off himself. Phineas is a kind man who is just _particularly_ fond of Phillip, but certainly not in amorous ways. There is no chance he was about to risk his already fragile circus man reputation to become anything more than that.

_Or was he?_


End file.
